Mine

I always wanted to be a parent. I had fifteen dolls, they each had a name and went through all my daily routines with me. I grew up as an only child. I would ask to hold parent’s babies at the doctor’s office! I love kids.

Family studies was my favorite class in highschool. Our teacher would put on audio tapes of parenting styles and they were fascinating to me. Giving kids choice, discipline that wasn’t spanking.. they were called consequences. All new fangled stuff in the 80’s.

As soon as I was married we planned our family. I read Parents magazine from cover to cover. There was no internet.

I have three kids. The first one cried through the first night that I brought her home. We paced, is she sick? Hungry? Wet? Cold? Funny now, not so much then. Did you know that sometimes they just cry? Back then babies didn’t room in with their moms, they were kept in the nursing station, lights on overnight, etc. She had her nights and days mixed up.

I was twenty, I looked even younger. I had a nation of women approach me and tell me how to parent in public. Gah! “Oh honey; your baby should have socks on, your baby should be on her side, your baby should wear cloth diapers, no soother, breast only, no solids till one.” Note the words “Your baby.” When the first one was born, my first words were “Mine! Mine, Mine!”

Was I perfect? Hell no! But my kids were first above everything.

My parenting was different. I remember the two older ones scrapping and being an only child, I was baffled. My husband was the youngest of four and said it was normal. It sure looked violent to see two kids under 5, scratching, pinching, screaming in a twisted ball I couldn’t untangle. I once walked in with a bucket of cold water and doused them with it. Another time, I carried the twisted ball to the tub where the cold shower was running and set them in it. I dunno isn’t that what you do with fighting cats? I do know when the youngest came along, the cat days were over.

Parenting under ten is the better stage of parenting. They did get themselves into trouble. I choose consequences that made them accountable. When my daughter was four she took a pencil and made a zig zag pattern on all four freshly painted walls in her room. I gave her an eraser and she erased all of it. My other daughter was playing outside and took the retaining bricks around the culvert and threw them into the ditch. She was three and I took her to the neighbours door kicking and screaming to apologize, he was ever so kind and said it was okay, but I still made her haul them all back into place. My youngest was a wild animal, a dinosaur actually. He would head butt, bite and run like the wind. I had to keep him teethered to me. He would cry so hard he would forget to breathe in and pass out. He bit someone once and I was mortified. The very next time he bit, I bit him back and that was the end of that. Were these the best solutions? Not always, maybe if I was standing over them all the time I could of prevented these incidents. So, never go to the bathroom, do laundry, make supper, talk to your mom on the phone!

Their imaginations were huge! Tons of hours outside, crafts, baking, reading, barbies. Playing house, hardware store, rescue 911, army and school. Neighbourhood games, biking, basketball, baseball. Our neighbourhood was packed with kids and I am sure they have either been in my house or yard to play.

I don’t know how much they remember from under ten. I don’t know how much teenage angst robs from their memories. So much energy! Enjoy your kids, seems a season of time, and then they are moving on to the next season. It goes by too fast Mommas!