Fear

Nothing to fear, but fear itself. Being afraid seems like it could be a choice, some people rationalize everything. I like ghost stories, and playing with the idea that stuff could be real. Adds a little depth to reality. Beyond mysteries the unknown can spark just as much fear.

Your mind can go to some pretty dark places when faced with age or illness, or life in generasl. It’s fine, it’s nothing, is easy to advise people, but a little harder to arrive there. After I had kids, I had a lot of irrational fears. Transport trucks on the highway used to terrify me. I remember my mom was terified of train trestles. Of course Mom had a reason, she was on one when the train came and had to stand on a platform as it went by.

Some fears just are. I used to be afraid of our basement stairs. I would rationalize when I started up, but would be running full tilt to the top at about half way. I know there is no Boogeyman, but I just couldn’t contain that feeling. Geneology takes me to a lot of graveyards for research. Sometimes it is beyond eerie! Reading the stones, ages of death, so many died of Influenza and Consumption. I encountered someone in the graveyard once, and to this day I am not sure if she was real. I still have goosebumps when I recall that memory. It was broad daylight, my friends were playing beyond the graveyard and I was going to meet them. A young woman was on the path and when our eyes met she beckoned with her hand for me to come over. I started up the path towards her, she was wearing a pale blue dress, she had flowers.. then she disapeared.

Premonitions, ghosts, angels, I believe in it. Maybe because I believe, I see? Some things can’t be explained.