I don’t know where my mind is? I feel like I am waiting. I don’t know what it is I am waiting for. I can’t plan, I am only in the moment, just the one I am in. I am claustrophobic in my own skin. Avoiding everything, just a breath away from a complete mess. It’s dangerous to ask people how they are feeling. Do you wanna know, do people answer with their whole heart? I don’t, can’t, I don’t even know. Feel trapped, winter, lockdown, looking for silver linings, they are not silver, they are deep grey, dark, hollow, long narrow corridors. Hope is there, somewhere right?
Last winter was mild, short, this year… January is three months long! No warm places, everyone is spent! Everyone is so done, with no options. I do know it will be better, right?
Even children look beaten, low. I guess we wait. Mysteries are not my favourite. The endings are good, but in between, figuring it out. Creeping around, waiting for the bad thing, or the hero. Not knowing!
What is the secret to get by it? or through it? I am digging so deep right now. Reaching so far inside to pull all the strength to the front. I want to be a cheerleader for all my people, they deserve it. Got a damn perfect bunch around me. I may be leaning a little hard lately. Linking arms hard with the ones around me, stealing a little peace here and there.
If you are also feeling a little bit rough lately, I feel you! Dig deep, we can do it. Limits are being tested, crank your tunes. Get yourself into something good! We have to be close to something good, there has to be something better coming!
Momma Wouldn't Say 