Worried

Do you know how many things I have missed out on because of fear? I am not afraid of spiders, snakes, heights or being alone. I am afraid of the unknown. I like to know how things work, I like to be in control of my environment. I base my decision before I even try. Sometimes there is just no rhyme or reason to it.

I have zip lined across a river more than once. One of those times, I had to be rescued because I didn’t make it all the way and stopped short of the platform. I thought it was awesome and would do it again! I hate riding on the back of a four wheeler, I will not jump off a bridge into water. I can go up in the CN tower, I will hike or swim in underground caves. My rationale buttons seem to be askew. Terrified of riding a horse, but will hold reptiles and pet wild animals. I really don’t get it.

It is all fine, we are who we are! For me, it is the regret, the lost moment. I know some of my stuff is irrational, but some is just fear itself. I actually worry more when I watch others do stuff. My daughter is an awesome mom, when her daughter gets nervous she just simply states, “You are gonna regret it.” That is what I need to remember, if it is not a deadly deed, just do it. I have always wanted to go on one of those four wheel water bikes or a Catamaran, opportunity has come and gone. I regret it, I need that do over! My brother in law was gonna take me on his Harley! Backed out, missed out, regret it!

For me I think I need to make the decision. No pestering, no boss or insisting. If someone said, I am gonna do this on __ day, join me? Then let me have time to decide, with no influencers, I would have a better chance of saying yes. Some things, just saying them in my head is a huge screaming No! I know that I will get out on a catamaran and a Harley. I also know that I will never jump off a cliff into the water below. I also know, never say never!