Let It Go

I had a dream about babies, so many babies, I couldn’t help all of them. There wasn’t enough of me, I couldn’t meet all the needs surrounding me. I don’t dream very much anymore. Seems this year, the dreams are coming back. Dreams are not all bad, they are where I can hear my dad’s voice again, I can visit my younger self, you can get a do over! Those dreams are harsh, there is always something going terribly wrong in those dreams and you have to go through all of it to the finish, but then part of your sleeping self says, “Not today!”and you get to change the dream and the outcome! Perhaps that is why when things start to go real wrong in life, we have to check and see if it’s a dream, or rather a nightmare. Also as you go through something awful it seems to slow down and it’s almost like you are looking at it from a third person. We can not change real life, there is not an option for a do over.

We can try for a second chance to change something, but there is no rewind. We did an opinion writing with the kids and someone choose that life was important. The next part of the assignment was to provide four examples with proof. Most kids chose dogs are better than cats or hockey is the best sport, they sound easier to me. The life child, then provided a list of all the things that make life important, like a really, really long list! There was a lot of editing, it wasn’t wrong though. The love of life was apparent, how can you fault that. For assignment purposes we had to weed out and narrow down until we had the most important. A child’s most important and our most important are vastly different. Sometimes it surprises me. I love that though! When a nine year old decides to have an opinion on something huge! I used to talk to my kids and now my grands about their views and opinions. Conversations that let them be equals. My grandson called me one day when he was maybe three, it was before Valentine’s Day because I remember asking him all about his cards for the event and who his crush was ( probably his teacher). I remember him asking for a sleep over and thinking it was odd his Mom would let him ask being a school night. We closed our conversation with all the love and we hung up. His mom called me a few minutes later and asked if he had called me? He had gotten her cell phone saw the icon for phone, seen my picture and made a call… they know stuff folks, earlier and earlier.

We need to channel into that curiosity, foster it, mould it, build it up before the world gets its hooks into them. All the other influences out there, you are their one and only first! Use that time, it’s the best time to solidify the relationship that carries you through the rest of their lives. Kids tell family first, you need to be their go to.As they get older conversations get harder. That’s when you will need to listen without reaction, some stuff is hard to hear without putting in your two cents worth. Start doing that every time, they just won’t tell you. Other kids will be the confident, and worse other kids will be the advisor, cute at five, not so much at thirteen. They will turn to friends over you at some point, it is part of the process, but the longer you are able to keep their attention, the better their moral compass will be. No one reaches adulthood without mistakes, and you do want your voice to be the one they hear when spreading their wings and the one they will miss when you are gone.