Roles

My kiddos weren’t restricted by certain gender expectations, I myself was the biggest tomboy to ever live! I lived in trees, sporting a bright orange ballcap and an oversized 7up t-shirt that never came off for an entire summer. I developed a muscle in my forearm from the amount of arm wrestling I participated in and won! My right arm still has the weird muscle protruding below my wrist. I punched more people in the stomach than I can recall. I could run like the wind and was never selected last for teams, I was like a secret weapon! Anything boys could do, I could do better. My kids played with dolls and guns, we were all ninja turtles and my daughter was the Digimon Tai wearing googles on her head for a whole summer!

My kids got more, dirt bikes, go carts, ice rinks, tree forts. I encouraged reading, music, art, acting, they joined whatever they wanted. They were kids for as long as they wanted, I didn’t rush them. The choices made in their lives were theirs, I was just a guide, sometimes hoping they would choose different. We took them on day trips to discover old places, natural history, nature itself, and the love for it all I can still see. I just wanted to instill love for life, to achieve happiness and self acceptance. The rules and the roles don’t matter if happiness is the goal. If that is where you arrive, it doesn’t matter how you get there.

Having kids is humbling, they can reveal your shortcomings real fast. They also bring out something some of us don’t even know is there, passion, fierceness, reality. It is so easy to say and judge and preach, having kids can shut you up real quick. Expectations and the true picture is beyond your comprehension. I am not talking about the ugly, I am talking about the place your heart goes, it is beyond you, it is bigger than you, it is so much more than you could ever know! I would never trade in my motherhood role, not in a million years, mistakes get made but it is an undying, unconditional love that stands against the tests of time!