Tiptoe

Literally, for as long as I can remember, I tiptoe. Walking upright, like I have ballerina shoes on. As a child it was to be quiet, when you’re an only child, you‘re quiet, you get the place to yourself. When I was a teen, I walked on them to avoid my pant cuffs, for short people there was no pant consideration for us. As a mom, it was for the babies. A house full of teens it was to be a ninja, these qualities were imperative to find out, who was in, who was out, who did homework. The ninja thing stuck, I know all the squeaks in the floor, I know how to place my foot in the forest, my personal challenge, personal best. Competing with myself for quiet mode.

I still do it sometimes, you get eyebrows when you walk around like you have on imaginary heels. I used to tiptoe through my problems too, avoiding confrontation, conversations, emotions. At some point you have to plant your feet on the floor and stand your ground. This has to be learned, it’s not natural for everyone. Tiptoeing was easier for me, it has been with me since the beginning. If you don’t have to do hard things, there is no problem, right?

Eventually keeping this posture hurts, the ability to be silent isn’t serving it’s purpose anymore. It exhausts you and you have to put your feet down. Having an opinion, making a decision, being mad or sad are yours, you don’t need permission to have these things. Everyone has them, right or wrong. Everyone views confrontation as a fight, it really isn’t, it is just two people offering g different points of view. It can be a fight if one person can’t sway their position. Agreeing to disagree is real and better than tiptoeing away. It is better to at least be heard, then maybe you will be able to sit down and put your feet up. Don’t carry that backpack full of junk, travel light, be a ninja.