Loss

We had a cat for seventeen years. My oldest picked her out from the SPCA the year before she graduated. All white, one green eye, one blue eye, she lived the longest of any of our pets. She was there when our first dog passed away and she was there when our current dog came home. She went with my daughter to University in Fredericton, making trips home when she did. When my daughter went to University in Ontario, she stayed with us. She was sweet and patient when the grandkids were born. She became family and then my son’s cat. My husband doesn’t like cats but every night she was in the recliner between his legs, letting him rock her to sleep with his wiggly foot.

Whether it is person or pet, leaving or dying, loss is loss. It is an absence that is felt and can hit you at any moment. It doesn’t go away, it does change. You never forget the impact loss plays on your life. Some people are less forgiving when that loss is a pet. Our cat had renal failure and we had a little time to say our goodbyes. After my son went blind, she was with him constantly. When he had to lie face down for a week after each surgery, she laid on his back to keep him company. She was in his lap and on his computer desk more than she was on the floor. When it was time for her to go, he stayed with her and sang her across the rainbow bridge. We called her construction cat because when my husband fired up a power tool, she came running and if she got out, she was on the roof.

Be tender with yourself, be tender with others. My dog is finally starting to act a little less sad. Our cat loved her too and spent most mornings grooming the dog’s face. You can’t replace that loss, getting a new pet does not replace the one that is gone. It is an acceptance that they are gone. It is a sign you are ready to love again. It does not fill the hole in your heart. You can’t do that with people, why would you expect to do it with a pet. Don’t rush, don’t dwell on their passing. Load up on all the wonderful moments you had. Don’t diminish the memory with the sadness. They were in your life for a reason, they provided something you needed. That is what you need to remember.