We swore off having another pet, cat dies, dog has type one diabetes, no more pets. This weekend we got a cat, because naturally we were not right. She is not an infant, six months, my son didn’t wanna have to worry about squishing her. She has been here two days and she is a small glimmer of happiness. She hid for almost 24 hours, the first day, and then she joined us. Snuggle bug, affectionate, chatty, loves the broom, the table top, jumping high. Has not struck out in anger, no bites. I have scratches because I was carrying her and she got spooked and wanted down to hide. So she used her nails to scramble. She is an asset to this family.
That is how it happens sometimes, we don’t even know what’s good for us. We really don’t. We are a weird species. We run away from things that are good for us. We justify our obvious mistakes. Why are we so afraid of being wrong, being criticized, being called out on shitty self care. Explain away every shred of negligence of ourselves. If you had a broken arm, you would need a cast and rest, but easily neglect your peace of mind. Shrug it off and keep going. It does catch up with you and then you realize, yes you are coping, but have solved nothing and the circle turns around and around. You can’t put a bandaid on things that require stitches.
If you are implementing all the things, meditation, exercise, music, sleep, things you enjoy, that’s great. If the next problem has you at zero again, you are not storing anything for your future. You have depleted it, overdrawn. You have written a story with no footnotes, no references, cited nothing. What happens next? Rashes, indigestion, inflammation, heart palpitations, insomnia. Stress kills, I can’t stress that enough! If you can tell your story to someone not personally invested, do it. Your losses, your grief, your story, it is important. Sometimes you just need to be heard. Get the stitches you deserve.
Momma Wouldn't Say 