I am sure the picture of your darlings milling about in their school fills your day with sparkle. We do that to feel better about our own day. In our minds eye, they do no wrong. We recant days with them, ignoring the dropped dilemmas, the averted gazes. Are their failures ours as well? Is character created by us as parents or lack of parenting. Do we have guilt for our absences in their day? When we shuffle them out the door, hurry them into bed, make light of their worries, who is it for? Do you know all the truths of their day? Probably not.
A child needs community too. The experiences they are exposed to outside of home has an impact. Just as it takes a community to raise a child, it can also tear them down. A lifetime of you building them up and giving them self esteem can be cast aside so easily. Friends can hold more value than you. They hold the opinions of companions over family. You only get to watch the repeated actions deflate your child slowly over time.
Just like an abusive relationship it changes the targeted person. Their self worth starts to dissolve, their sense of adventure leaves, until there is just a shell of a former vibrant person. You can tell them, the others are no good for them, but they are stuck. You can be their community too. You need to be their voice, when no one else listens. Some parents almost long for the sass to come back when they are clinging to you for change. Be that!! Get in there, it’s easy to throw your hands in the air with frustration, do the work and help them claw back their peace and belonging.
Momma Wouldn't Say 