If I know you, speak to you, reach out to you. You are not a chore, you are not an unpleasant but necessary task. I surely hope this is a mutual feeling. I will say my tasks keep me from doing all that I want. I don’t know that I am missing something until I do one of those things that make me genuinely happy. I had to run errands before more weather arrived. I can’t recall the last time I went out on my own. I took the long way, I went slow. I stopped and took pictures, deer in the field, clear cut trees, a funny stump, a barn up on a hill. I stopped at places I haven’t been in a while. I had time with my thoughts. The air was so fresh, the sun was out, I had time to process and reflect on things that get buried in the day to day. It was what I needed.
You can’t always be someone for everyone. You dole out all the pieces and have nothing left for yourself. I will give my time willingly. I just find certain times of year are more depleting than others. I get caught up in my job, constantly setting mini goals. You have to be focused to attain focus. You have to regulate your emotions, you need to mediate, advocate and plan constantly, well I do anyways. Idle hands don’t help anyone. I go deep into thought, don’t hear my own name being called sometimes. I used to bring it home with me at the end of the day, but I have learned to shut it down.
Home is home, work is work, and the one I struggle with is me being separate from all of that too. Removing myself from both, lets me just look at me for a minute. Recharge a bit, see where my deficits are, makes me a better person. Just stepping away from everything to sync the system. I’m like most gadgets, unplug me and when I am plugged back in, I am back better than ever with all the new updates installed, the glitches removed! Probably keeps viruses away and avoids a replacement being needed as well. If you don’t put the oxygen mask on yourself first, you help no one. It has been a repeated error, I hope to correct it and maintain it!
Momma Wouldn't Say 