Yo-Yo, most leaves are off the trees now, very effective mood shift. I realized that trauma does not have an age limit, 8, 18, 81. Things you never heal from and also don’t acknowledge, can pop out at any time. Triggers can be subtle, things you never thought of, weather, conversation, rejection. Bygones be gone and carry on. Now is the time to catch yourself. Figure out your “whys?” Or maybe, “What the hell is wrong with me?”
Why do we remember painful things? When I was a kid, I climbed up the monkey bars. We had a set in the schoolyard shaped like a dinosaur, sloping up from the tail. You could walk up them from the tail. Somewhere around the shoulders, I missed a rung and I went down through the bars hooking my diaphragm on the way through. Totally knocked the wind out of me and I laid on the ground trying to cry with no air. Took probably fifteen minutes to recover and school being out, no one was around. The air gets in and breathing is automatic function so it happens regardless. Another time I went sledding, Dad found a fantastic hill. Down I went, no clue how to steer, zoomed into the woods and slammed into a tree. Dad yelled if I was okay, and I hollered back that I broke my back. He carted me up the hill and off to emergency for six hours and an X-ray that showed a severely bruised tailbone.
You can get slammed with stuff all the time and call it near death. If you aren’t dead, automation kicks in, and you live to tell about it. What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, so they say. Certainly makes us wiser or a least we might learn from our mistakes. Automatic body function is kinda like auto pilot, good thing it is built in. When in a crunch, comes in handy. The body does need fuel and appendages to carry out tasks. Family, friends, community are useful in the same representation. Use autopilot if you need to, but make use of whatever you can to get out of survival mode. No such thing as a surplus, your body is a sponge taking what it needs, don’t deprive yourself of that.
Momma Wouldn't Say 