Without Words

Reach out your hand, I’ll grab it. Lean into me, I’ll give you a hug. Point, I’ll look. Communication goes beyond words, it is multifaceted. It is seeing, it is feeling, it is listening. When we don’t have words, we have a face and body language. A parent can read so many unspoken cues. It’s fine tuning, it evolves. We can absolutely ignore what we see, our responses are our own. Animals speak without words, we know the language of our pets too. When you fail to read cues, or cues are not received in the manner they were meant, it causes a miscommunication.

Saying exactly what you mean, representing exactly what you need is extremely hard for some people. If you have learned that giving a hint and someone else fills in the blanks, that isn’t effective either. If your ask is met with negative or emotional responses constantly, you learn not to ask. If you feel guilty asking and then have any kind of delay in answer, you may just tell yourself no. Communication like anything is learned. The people that raise you, the people you live with, co workers, friends all have a different way of communicating and it can be a struggle to read the conversation.

Unlearn, relearn, trying different kinds of communication is a key building block for all of us. If advocating for someone else is a strength, but not yourself, think of yourself as a third person. What is it you need to say? What conversation has you picking lint off of your sweater? If it was your Grammie or young teen that was trying to have a hard conversation, and you were speaking for them, what would you say? Rise above the barriers and speak, nobody reads your mind.