It is hard to dig deep and be totally invested in something and still juggle all the things. You can get inside your head you forget everything else, like feral survival mode. It is different for everyone. It could be planning an event, supporting someone, finishing a project. I have been absent in so many roles to be present in one. Sorry about that, sorry to anyone who felt they were on the back shelf. I also put myself there too, so once the cobwebs are scrubbed and the shelf empties, I feel present.
I am an organized person and I can tell when life is driving the car. The juggling stops and the balls are falling down. I forget things, I can’t find stuff, changes put me into a tailspin. Balance is hard and maybe it always will be. I will disperse the eggs into several baskets instead of keeping them all in one and be sunshine and rainbows, until next time. How do I learn from it? I have tried the yes person, the no person, the go with the flow person, I will figure out the manual eventually.
Right now in the wee hours, as the world sleeps I am present. I need these moments to make a plan in the silence. Summer will always be my discovery time, my peace, my rebuild. I return to the princess of my castle and breathe the earth’s energy. I wish it was longer but that is another day. I will enjoy everyday that I am given. For me summer recharges the batteries that have been too low for too long. Happy summer!
Momma Wouldn't Say 