Damn

This year all of my kids will be in their thirties. What is that? They are grown, and I still see a 7,10 and 12 year old. That doesn’t even math right, but that is where I have frozen them. My mom hat is always on and when they reach for me, I like being there. You can all pretend that they are grown, but they are saved in a time capsule. The face I see is still filled with wonder and big crystal clear eyes. There is no one to pass the torch to, you are it, always momma. I hear disappointment, I see a pout. I hear happiness, I hear a giggle. I hear anger, I see a red tear streaked face. I never want to disappoint.

It is not realistic to be the hero every time, but we damn well try. There is no hurt that is greater than watching them hurt. There is no one prouder than me watching them grow. I don’t care if it is keeping a plant alive, or winning an Emmy. There is no job more important than parenthood. On call 24/7, constant self criticism, and your personal best all the time, seen or unseen, you do your best. You can and will fail nobody is perfect. Lord love a duck, I hope to at least get an honourable mention!

Whether I accept it or not, they are grown. I love everything about them. I see me and their father in them. I watched them grow into these amazing people. I see independence and strength. I see brilliance and perseverance. I see love and kindness. My hope is they see it in themselves, that they see themselves through my eyes. If I was your other mother, because I have a few, I hope you know the love I have for you too♥️