Toilet innards seem appropriate for this post. Middle of January snuck by, thanks for that! We had the thaw, the deep plunge, two mixed weather systems, more light, and I am tired. I have been put to bed at 7:14 also up past eleven. I have been awake at 4:30 too many morning and dragging myself from slumber so hard, I could barely speak when finally out of bed. January is like Monday, everyday! Who has seasonal depression? One day I am stuck in the upside down from “Stranger things” and other days, I am surprised my clothes are not inside out. I have made six plans and not followed through on one!
Don’t get comfortable, things change. As much as we need to stay still when things are reeling they keep moving. When everything feels slow, they also seem so slow! It is hard to move forward at this pace and true hibernation sets in. Anybody that knows me, knows I disappear this month. I conserve energy to exist. I am better in the spring. It will become a joke about my absence by then. I am just a passenger this time of year, I can barely steer. I feel like I need permission to be happy. Fake it until you make it, is more my speed… with the greatest intentions of course.
I am frozen all the time, but hey I can slap on a smile and make a single goal for the day. I am good at making others a priority, while I figure myself out. I listened to Pink Floyd recently, I was so obsessed with them and Les Zepplinuǔ … I wrote this half asleep, I lost the point because I fell asleep, I woke up at 4:18, I went upstairs and went back to sleep, when I woke up it was an hour past my alarm, it was garbage day.. and these are my January days. Two more months and it will be spring, thank God! Let’s get through this…
Momma Wouldn't Say 