Cut ties, if it isn’t working for you, then don’t. People continually expose themselves to things that they just don’t like. Relationships, friends, media, spaces, we have choice over everything we do, if it’s not a necessity of life you have the ability to just say no more. No validation, no excuses, no reason, you don’t owe anybody anything. You don’t have to worry about making others uncomfortable with your absence, if their presence makes you uncomfortable. Be true to you. “Well that person will be mad”, or “that person will ask me why”, so? How do you feel?

People often exhibit anger because they are upset with their own choices. You are not here to appease everyone, truthfully, you can’t. Selfish and self serving? Not really, why should you be unhappy? Learning to say no is a positive step. Not the hermit type of no, the free up your brain space one. If you are just starting this journey, you will feel the difference. People pleasing is great, but if it is costing you your sanity, then no. If it steals your time then no. If it robs you of peace, then take get it back.

After the parenting children stage was over, I slowed down. It was strange, I was into all kinds of committees and events, sports, play dates. It was years of running, I didn’t know how to make the transition to a more low key life. It was unfulfilling, but I was busy. Then I started replacing things I was doing for things I had always wanted to do. Things, I wanted try, mini goals for a change in my life. I need to do this again, I was pretty still last year, gotta amp it up, changes for the better are never a waste!

Write down every negative thought you have and trump it with a reason to be grateful. What can you fit in a day? Your smile, your happy, not “you are” but what you can share. Pass it along! If you can give away something people want to take with them for the day. We all have bad moments, don’t we? What has turned you around? What has made you, stop and just turn it around? When you think of a crying child, how do you get them to turn their frown upside down? Do you hold them? Do you distract them, do you tell them happy things?

I am horrible for throwing myself in between people fighting, but am I? I would do jumping jacks and squawk like a bird to get people to turn it around. People get fixated in the moment, absolutely ignoring reason. Now I’m not saying to get in between a brawl, I just think if a good mood is happening within you, share it. Negativity breeds more negativity, just like if you are talking about a blue car, you see blue cars all day long. So be the sunshine, be the glory breeder.

Sometimes you need just feel your feelings and feel validated, but don’t stay there. Don’t let others stay there. Laughter, smiles are contagious. I never remember jokes, a few have stuck over that years, but useless when I need them. I can act a fool, I can be silly, do weird voices, all kinds of accents, make up words and sing odd ditties. Be fun, life can be crappy sometimes and it all gets in your head and tries to consume you. Don’t let it, look for one thing good to say about your day, just like rainbows, they always show up!

Try something different, no self analysis at all, just fun. Fall is the perfect season to do all kinds of fun, no focus on fixing. I used to do photo challenges all the time, a daily challenge to take a picture of something specific. I liked the interpretation of the photo shot expected. I am hoping fall won’t be as wet as this past summer. Local travel, outside events, hikes are a little more comfortable without searing heat.

When you think of fall, keep in mind it goes right until four days before Christmas! What comes to mind for you? When I close my eyes I see low sunsets, beautiful leaves that light up pathways through the forest. I picture pumpkins, apples, fresh baked foods, gatherings, Christmas vendors. Be sure to get your windows open!! I have already promised myself, I will not be staying on the couch like last year and eating. It seemed to be a year of rest, maybe I needed it. I feel vim and vigor returning, an adrenaline that has come back! I’m alive and free, kicking off the apprehension.

I don’t know where I disappeared to, but I am back. My pockets are full of strategies to just be me. I am empowered, you repeat that! I am empowered! Getting on my shoes right now, stomping through my doubts, regaining my passions. Adjusting my sight line, cranking the music, shouting to the rooftops, let’s do this! Life is full of highs and lows, you seize those highs and you bounce to the next one. Let nobody or anything steal your happiness!! Life is too short, you spend your childhood waiting to be grown, wishing your young adult life to be young again, then one day you are in the moment and it’s okay, everything is okay! Your skin fits, no more hiding, you have a voice and a purpose… whatever it is, do it!!

I have had to prioritize lately, gotta hate that! Slow boil and simmer are not working for me, time to pull everything in front. Dotting my I’s and crossing my T’s, starting things the night before again. Getting to bed at a better time, prepping everything. Lackadaisical doesn’t work during the school year. I start to put myself at the back again, getting to me later. Everyone gets a lunch, and I leave the house without one. My checklist for myself is coffee and phone. Should bring a wardrobe, because the weather is so wonky and the season is so unpredictable. Leave in the rain come home during a scorcher. Tired by Monday and waiting on the weekend.

My future brain has it all figured out now, so just brushing up details. Finding the fails and the go time is getting there. I thrive under pressure, probably why I procrastinate. At least I know what I want and I am no longer afraid to ask for what I need. The waiting for peace is rewarding eventually. Hump day has passed and Friday is on the next horizon. That works, little break and fourth gear again. I don’t hate it, makes me tired? Of course!

My daughter sent me a pic of the geese, and my other daughter sent me a picture of a young buck. I am craving apples, baking, soup and sweaters! Shut down the pool, dug out warm socks, stocked up on Kleenex, opening windows at night, I love the air a little crisp. Wine glass is ready for Friday evening and I have a book picked out. May get a little use of my outdoor space with that book and a blanket, might even nap. Enjoy any time you can get for you!!

Maybe? Not sure what I should say. “ You are so organized, I am organized too!” She is stoked! So that makes me happy! My girls were not, she tells me that now about her mom, lol. Clean for sure, just not organized. I tell her that I was also like that when I had kids at home. It is easier with an emptier house. She gives me a side look and sly smile, she knows what’s up. Love this kid! We bond over dealing with disarray, comfort zones and online shopping.

My brother likes to open cupboard doors and leave them open as he walks through the kitchen. Yup, funny, let’s talk about germs… hmmmmmm? We all have quirks and guess what? It’s normal, all different boxes. Volume has to end in certain numbers. Some people are just free, run full tilt, no blinders, no filters, all glee. I can do that, well maybe some days.

What come first the chicken or the egg? Am I more organized because I have time, or have more time because I am organized? Am I OCD because I have to check for my keys twice before I lock a door? Meh, we are, who we are, what does it matter?

There are lots of situations that make your spidey senses tingle. That foreboding feeling that alerts you that things are not right. Danger is imminent, stop, go back, this is a bad idea. When you have anxiety, this may happen all the time and you have to decide if the red flag is just at half mast, or there is a real concern. I remember going on a hike once and coming across some scat lined with berries, I became terrified that a bear must be around the next bend! I do not know enough about wildlife to determine bear poop size or freshness, so I turned back, convinced I would be consumed at any moment! Self preservation or paranoid, doesn’t matter I was done.

It’s good to have these filters, and hopefully they kick in when needed. As we age fear grows. Maybe because we know more or are more aware of possible outcomes. Red flags are not only raised with life or death situations. Sometimes the flag gets raised around certain people. People that don’t respect personal space, that follow you with their eyes too much, ones that seem to talk to you like they have a hidden agenda for a relationship. It might be just your interpretation, but getting crappy vibes from someone is unnerving. Lot’s of relationships, friendships and otherwise, actually start out great, and it’s not until you have been in it a bit that flags start to rise. It could be as simple as low key criticism and just joking insults. Then two months in,there is complete disrespect and control behaviour. When the honeymoon is over it is still okay to call it quits.

You really do have to trust your gut. It is more than okay to quash good beginnings when things start to go wrong. Everyone is on their best behaviour in the beginning and if true colours are skewed as time goes on, you best move on. I heard about bear sightings a couple of weeks after that hike. I was kind of glad because I was feeling kind of bad for bailing on a fabulous fall hike. It justified my decision, because sometimes,( don’t tell my husband) I am wrong?! It is better to be safe than sorry!

Your knowledge, your experience, your failures. What do you bring forth for the next generation to learn from? Do you show consideration for others? Do you teach that acceptance is a real virtue? Are you all talk and no action? I have had people look in me in the eye and speak about their concern and hopes for others, and contradict themselves in actions. Continually claim to care for others and clearly disregard the down trodden and side step the fallen. What are the things you do to help this world?

You don’t have to toot your own horn, you know what you do and don’t do. The silent helpers are the best. Your children reflect what you teach. Easy to see what you think and kids are pretty clear repeating what they hear on the daily. If it’s not good, I hope you grow out of it. Hate, lack of compassion, acceptance, hostility and arrogance are learned behaviours. Everyone has within themselves the ability to lead and lift others up.

Look for ways to do exactly that, group mentality can hurt people if they have no example. Once you find yourself, be sure it is someone that others can respect. One that others gravitate to because you are genuine. That one person that someone can approach because you listen and offer solace for them to be themselves. Not control, a sounding board that helps others find answers they can live with. Someone who advocates for others find their voice. Let them come to your table because once there, they are treated like royalty. Not because the table is dressed in fine linen and china, but because it feels like it is.

What is it about little kids that is so adorable. They bring out this aggressive love, no wonder Gramma’s used to pinch checks. Little pudgy cheeks, dimples, gummy grins just melt your heart. Everything about littles is so endearing. Even little animals with their overgrown feet and floppy walks, the way they sprawl, adorable. Little rays of sunshine, you want to keep in your pocket! Pull them out for a pick me up whenever you need one.

Treasures, each and every one of them. They grow up too fast but you don’t realize it until one day they don’t wanna hold your hand anymore, get a kiss goodbye, or let you walk them to the door on the first day of school. In school first day and last day are always hard on the moms and dads, more parents are teary eyed then the kids. I get it! Yes it frees up your time, but they take a piece of your heart with them.

I was in no rush for mine to be grown, but it happens anyways. I hug and kiss them anyways, just like I hug and kiss my own momma. Hugs are normal around here! They won’t get in my pocket, but I try! Life goes fast sometimes, savour it! Always love!

How many things are on the surfaces in your room? Too many? Can’t see one thing because there are so many things to see? Do you know where each thing came from? Was it a long time ago, or are you still buying things? Are you practical, things that are useful or just pretty things? My Gramma had a ton of ornaments, hummels on top of doilies, little dog figurines chained together, pretty things. I have friends that just chuck stuff, no attachments at all and talk about other friends that have their old report cards . I have my old report cards, oops, and my kids too!

I am an organization queen, for other people. Everything has a place, I can organize a space, easy peasy. It makes me happy to do so. If I could organize other people’s spaces, as a side gig, I would be a happy gal. It’s easier without attachment. Reader’s Digest books… you never know when you might need to know the plants that cure and how to live off the land. I whittle down, I store out of sight and don’t buy.

Whether you are creating space or downsizing you have to be fierce to get back square footage. There are lots of shows and ideas for helping through these hard bits. Donate, keep, sell is most popular… if left to someone else one day, it will be trash. Setting a timer to attack an area is a good plan, too easy to just move stuff around, it needs to leave, not relocate. Maybe it all just makes you happy, then leave it. If you want to move eighteen objects to dust one shelf, that is your business. It’s hurting nobody, it is your reminders of your life surrounding you, who can argue with that!

What can you attack in your life? Instead of ho hum, and moaning what can you do? It really does start with you. The hardest part is identifying what “it” is. Maybe there is a ton of things that weigh on you. The big picture is always overwhelming. It’s like cleaning a toddlers room. Everywhere you look is in disarray. Clothes, sippy cups, laundry, toys mixed with game pieces, puzzles, half eaten snack and maybe you might see the floor. It is in there, that is what you need to do, find the floor. Group like things together, and start on the piles. These layers can be overwhelming, but it is one piece at a time.

Just like writing a story in grade school, write out all your problems. Select one and brainstorm possible solutions. If you draw a blank, choose a different one. Just starting the page is half the battle. You might not complete it today, it will wait for you. There is nobody without problems. Somethings you can solve on your own, some you might need help, learn to ask for it. Getting them out of your head and on paper can shift the weight. Just like the piles of toys, moving everything in to like piles, organizing thoughts helps you make room in your head.

The non tangible problems, maybe it’s your child’s behaviour or your own, you are trying to work through, write them down too. You may not have a clue how to deal with some of these problems, they will require work. Talking to your mom friends, reading a book or trial and error. Not everything, nor everyone responds to traditional approaches. Heck I paid my kid a dollar a day to sleep in her own bed, she earned a Barbie and I earned my bed! Problems may not get solved, just dented, that is a start. It always starts with you, find the floor!