Stuff can build up, not bad things necessarily. Overflowing with happiness, hyperactivity, boredom, anything can just have you at a low boil. Keeping things mediocre and serene, doing the tiptoe, to keep everything calm and carry on. What if you let it out? Just run through your house, slam dunk laundry into the machine, make vroom vroom noises while you scrub the stovetop again, slap together a sandwich like you are in a hurricane and gotta make it before it all blows away. What will happen? Maybe the pets will slouch off into a corner or the wee ones will stare at you like you are nuts. Channel it and let it out.

What’s wrong with being fun as a grown up? Are we teaching our kids to harness all emotion and walk through life tight lipped and … and what? Have some fun with your life! Get off the tight rope, let your hair down, put lipstick on your eyebrows, do the moonwalk, sing loud. Well the expectation is… being civilized and setting the example. For whom, if it isn’t real? We are not robots, cry when you’re sad and laugh when you can. We get stale, wandering around in our own heads. I have made friends in a line up, stating things that pop into my mind and then out of my mouth. I had an elderly lady come up to me in the grocery store and thanked me for singing along to the music, because now she didn’t feel alone. You are not alone.

While you are thinking everyone is judging you, there is regret. While you are curbing your thoughts and actions, someone else is too. Say and do all the kind, fun things aloud. I climb grocery shelves because items I want are on top and I can’t reach, sure I get weird looks, once I got applause. Who cares? My long angry fuse doesn’t get time to start when I just be me. The little girl that learned to be quiet doesn’t need to live here anymore. Be your grown ass self! Live, do good things and enjoy your life!

I was stuck in a drive thru this past weekend. I went for someone else, so I was obligated to a forty five minute wait. I had a chance to observe a family obviously traveling from another province. The SUV was packed from top to bottom. They had three children surely under the age of eight. Momma had her hands full with the youngest and acquiring all the items needed for their pit stop and dad…. well was doing dad things. The oldest took on the role of caregiver to the middle child, Mr. Middle was a toddler. Clearly the age of understanding but doing as he pleased. This was a parking lot and the oldest was doing his best. Mr. Middle did not want to rejoin the family and his brother had squatted down to lay out the plan. At one point he looked towards mom for guidance, she clearly had her hands full. With a bit of tugging, he was able to get his brother to his feet and coax him to the car without much force, he even maneuvered him into a car seat.

I was impressed, and relieved. After being relieved of his duties,the oldest, simply turned back into the child he should be. I reflected on my own family during the rest of my wait. My oldest adoring her sister and then the two of them fiercely protecting their brother. They would override me in situations they felt were unsafe, they taught, they helped, they loved. Not saying this was always the way, there definitely was some pummelling going on over the years too. Siblings are extra arms. My oldest was my right arm for a very long time. I recognize that and am thankful. We don’t just raise our children, they raise us as well.

Families are a unit, a force to be reckoned with. All of it, the fighting, arguing is necessary but the pay off. Someone in your corner hopefully for life. Ones that will remember with you the moments after parents are gone. One that can call you out, insult you, but defend you at any given moment. They can call you anything, but nobody else can. As a parent that is our hope, that this unit is indestructible and will be a forever bond. Sure time and distance changes things, but in a crunch, they will have each other. When you don’t have a big family, the memories end with you. After matriarchs and patriarchs in family is gone, there is a loss. Hold on to ones that love you!

Treat yourself like a child today. Start your day with snuggles and a full belly. Go outside and see things for the first time, not the chore things. Look at a spiderweb, notice the dew on the grass, listen to the birds and Cicadas. Do this barefoot, throw a blanket on the ground and have a snack. No hurries, no worries, pull apart a dandelion, smell it, maybe taste it. A day of innocence and wonder. When someone speaks, really listen, but do what you want. Some of us grow up too fast.

We yearn to grow up, you desire independence. Why? Reflect on the milestones in your life, you have come a long way. Trial and error, natural consequences, poor judgement, but here you are. There is a reason for everything even the worst things, there was a lesson. Did you learn? Have you grown? Do you blame? Have resentment? Let it go, now is the time. There is a little you inside of you. We don’t control the past, it has happened. Make a new future.

Going backwards on a path is pointless, set the compass in front of you and go from there. Those things that hinder you can change. Change your mind and change your life. If you are stumbling, look for a better path. If you like the path, stay on it, see where it goes, stop worrying about what is around the next corner. Don’t fear it, enjoy it. Focus on the good things, recall happiness and make that a goal, even if just for one day.

Weather, seasons, time of day and time of year, help us regulate our next steps. Long days of summer can be so productive if all the fresh air doesn’t tire you out. It reminds me of the amount of time on screens I waste, when I am doing other things. There are so many things we can do without and only consider as an after thought. You can start to learn the limits of your wardrobe if you skip laundry. How much food is in the house and meals you can make without getting more groceries. We sure do collect without intention.

Compartmentalize your things and see how much you have. Minimize and go without and see if it can stick. Except paper towel, I tried to give up paper towel. It’s sounds good, until a pet gets sick! I think Covid had me stock piling items because of toilet paper shortages and stuff. Try waiting until the shampoo bottle is empty, it is harder than you think. I am a sale girl too, so when items are on sale, that I know we use, I get two. Regular priced groceries is no joke, but so is running out of kitty litter or butter.

I have been packing and purging, and I miss nothing. Out of sight, out of mind, I don’t even know what is in the boxes. Stuff and apparently things I don’t use, so probably not practical. I am going to try an experiment and get nothing unless it is needed now, until August first. I love personal challenges! Only “have to” purchases! If I have some, I can’t get more. It’ll be like the starting out phase, you know when no condiments are in the fridge. Any wagers on how many days I can do it, or maybe try it yourself. I bought bread, strawberries, and juice boxes today because I had zero in the house. I am already ahead! Wish me luck!

My inner child took over for a bit, it was wild. No cooking, cleaning, sorting, laundry, damn fun! I didn’t even get all the garbage out on garbage day, I am restoring order today. Mute and pause all at once! I don’t even think I was in the house. I did some visiting, danced with my pets, played in the ocean with hubby, pelted out songs, not quite balanced, but a reset. Always so serious, almost a ticking time bomb. I so love summertime, I cannot express how much!

This is your reminder to talk and express what you think and feel. It is liberating. You can’t solve world problems or maybe not even your own. Little things to restore your peace is key. Dropping hints is not good enough, avoiding hard conversations does nothing. If it is on your mind, get it out, there are good bits in there too. Don’t forget to laugh, at yourself, do something unusual and really let the crazy out. Maybe it is all the humidity melting and sweating the inner stuff out.

Hubby and I are friends too, if you met us, we are kind of like a slapstick comedy duo. We resolve a lot of issues with humour. We were brushing our teeth together and he was teasing about being the man, and I was to get out of his way. I finished brushing and told him the queen was now done and he could have a turn and he said I was done because he was the boss. As he leaned forward, I yelled, “ Spit!” as he did. I asked him who was the boss now? Laugh, now every few days, one of us yells, Spit! That’s how we role around here, have some fun people!

Live your life in the present, don’t wait. So many times I wait for the next time, next day, next weekend, next year. You will miss out, you will filter energy to the future, but what about now? What can you do right now? Essentially if your energy is in today, you can save the worry of another day. You can avoid regret, yes we all make plans for the future, that is important, just don’t allow valuable real estate in your head to be taken up with all of it.

Of course plan a vacation, day trip, gathering, just one and done. You said it, you are gonna do it and forget about it for now. The details are arranged later anyways. What if’s do nothing for you right now. I actually read that type of thing is a trauma response. It explained that the hardest part of dealing with trauma is letting yourself believe that you are able to expect good things to happen. That makes sense to me, when you lose a pet, loved one, you do put up walls that will prevent you from those situations again. Think of things that make you passionate, you feel that way because you relate to them.

Every day is a new day, clear the slate, erase all the factors. Be in this moment. This is the moment that counts. What are you doing today? Maybe you have to wait until after work or the kids are in bed, that’s valid, but do something. Don’t become stuck because of it. There are lots of why nots and there always will be. Just don’t waste your life waiting for another time.

It is time to rest, anyone else? Sometimes you get so caught up in doing something, you forget to do nothing. Do nothing, take your down time. You don’t have to be productive, it is never ending. You have to create it yourself. There will always be things. It is not defeat, it is enjoyment, always pick enjoyment. I complain about micro management, but I do it to myself. I always turn tasks into other tasks, nothing gets done completely. Basically stop putting off the good shit!

A ten second tidy, is a ten second tidy, not a four hour mission. Complete what you set out to do and stop. I turned off procrastination and created a monster. A lot is done, but I lost time. A whole other level of no clocks, no calendars. No clocks, no calendars is for fun not crazy. I am still drinking cold coffee, relax, sip your coffee and relax. I wake up and plan so I don’t get distracted, you need to put some fun in that plan. Don’t work your whole life to work your whole life.

Balance, I guess that is the real secret. It is not one or the other, you can do both. I went to a market this weekend, and was asked, “Do you ever make your own cookies?” I gushed with my answer about how I loved to cook and bake and just never have time. I am an idiot, I have learned to ask for cookies, I need to also make the cookies. Right out of my own mouth, answers. Right out of my own mouth, roadblocks. The inside voice comes out, listen to negative nelly in there! You control you, you decide, tell her to lighten up! Go have some fun!

After the kids are grown, you reclaim a bit of yourself that gets buried in the parenting. That final stretch where the kids are trying to assert themselves is pretty brutal. A good friend of mine referred to each child as a tour of duty. I couldn’t have summed it up better. Each child is a separate battle, the logistics, playing field, tactics, it is all in there. There is a toll you pay getting them to adulthood.

On paper it sounds good, game plan is all set out and your approach depends on the circumstances. Secret attack, guns blazing erring on the side of caution, scouting the perimeter, I mean I know you are raising angels. Bless the raisers of angels. If you have zero challenges, like absolutely at no time had to count to ten or complain, that’s great!In hindsight my crew was not horrible, certainly not perfect and beyond better than I was. My momma calls me angel, sometimes.

For those that are still in the throes of battle, I feel for you. It is stressful, it is lonely and thankless. No harder job out there without pay. I suppose the pay is there, but it is held until they are grown and they finally get it. I hope your battle is swift and you come out the other side unharmed and not too unhinged.

I don’t know, when you read posts on the social sites there is a lot of speculation and judgement. Seems to be a lot of bubble wrapped children and entitlement. I followed a few sites about gardening, diy and the like. People ask for advice and members condemn and bicker, doesn’t sound practical at all. Not a calm space by no means. Got to have thick skin, or block and delete. I guess it’s easier to debate with the faceless.

Gen X, so I’ve been told has thick skin. We rode bikes with no helmets, no hands, no brains. I am pretty sure I still have a rock in my knee. Once you were old enough, you raised yourself from sun up to sun down. No one was home to cry to. I remember doctoring a friend that got their foot stuck in the spikes and chains of their bike. I put out a fire once that my friends set and it got out of control. They ran, I put it out with a coat luckily. We went through culverts in the Humber river that were eight feet high and shimming through ones that went down to three feet. It would be pitch black, with an occasional light from a manhole cover from the major road above. Like I said no brains.

Lots of sketchy stuff and maybe that is why we over protect our kids, because we lived to tell about it. If we did get caught there were consequences. Not pretty consequences, hard knocks. A lot of runaways back then, to avoid the consequences. If your kids can’t approach you with the truth, they will lie. You have to communicate, be accepting and forgiving. There should always be consequences to fit the behaviour. Learning and gaining independence with proper choices is pretty key. Give an inch, they take a foot, you have to set the bar. You always let them try the first time and base future answers on the results you received. It is hard to let them go it alone, it is how you both grow.

Sometimes you just need a fresh set of eyes. You are in it, whatever it is… you may not even see the big picture. Dance it out, walk it off, talk it to death, then step back and try again. Nothing can be perfect and that is okay. Every trial you ever go through always looks awful in the moment. Give it time, look back, you are still here and celebrate that.

We should always picture the best, so many steps are never taken because of the what ifs. Age can put blinders on us, give us reservations and caution. Kids aren’t like that, wild abandon, perseverance, they just go for it. They problem solve to get what they want, life hasn’t taught them yet that failure stings. They don’t know about danger, they don’t have the voice in their head that tells them they are being ridiculous or won’t succeed. Those things are learned, unlearn them.

Easy to say I suppose, and true. When you want to do something, what stops you? Sure the voice can offer some pretty solid advice. Some things are better off not being attempted. Life is hard, there are lots of obstacles. If you kept track of the why that is being offered by that inner voice, you may learn some things about yourself. Is it your voice? Is it someone that always made you feel inadequate? These are things that you need to figure out. Someone stole your self esteem and now they mar every decision you make. Take back control of your life. You make your decisions and be sure that things you don’t attempt or walk away from are based on valid reasons. It will never hurt to try and so what if you fail, you can try again. Don’t rob yourself of your own happiness.