I didn’t see the stars rain down last night, but I watched the sun rise. Whether you are up late or early, take the best parts and claim them for your own. Do the small things to grow sanity, peace, happiness, allow your heart to be full. You are the one in control of all of it. Let other people help you, you don’t need a solo show. Things will get neglected, laundry, floors, the dishes and that is okay. Give yourself permission to just be.

When your plate is full, eat what you can and scrape it into the garbage. Rinse your plate, let other people be your dishwasher. Chew your own food, there is nothing wrong with letting someone else help you clean it up. It means nothing to give up control and check all the boxes, it isn’t an exam, it’s not cheating to get help. My hope is everyone has a ying to your yang. It doesn’t have to be a partner, go external, a friend, aunt, cousin, professional.

My heart and mind buckets are full. Sometimes the buckets get spilled and you have to determine what the best method is to fill them. If you are not being real with yourself, you can’t pinpoint the problem. If the bucket is filled with dirty water, change the water. It is easy to get stuck, hyper focused, and have tunnel vision. It is okay to break out of this spiral with help. Let someone else rinse your plate.

Yoga is cropping up everywhere, like it was just invented. I remember in the 70’s one of the early morning shows was a lady that did yoga.. I think it was by the beach. Now I guess there is yoga with goats, it’s outside, inside, retreats, camps. I have one for you, yoga with wine. I mean core strength and balance could offer extra motivation if a wine glass was in one hand. All the poses with wine! Then maybe when the moves with the block, you could set it on the block, but couldn’t change to next position without picking the glass up with a different body part! Perhaps the glass should be some kind of chilled silicone in case you fall.

It is funny how things do trend though. Then it all changes and twenty years later it comes back. Personally I like what I like. I don’t judge others style and I don’t give a flying fig if someone is judging mine. I was actually just contemplating getting a perm. There tends to be a lot of matchy, matchy style out there. I like unique, maybe it’s eccentric at this stage of the game, but I don’t care. I still put in mini pigtails, I wore my leather jacket to death, love high boots, paisley, love big scarfs. One day I am in a blazer and another in a jean jacket. I won’t give up my hoop earrings or my last pair of thirty year old jeans! Young kids are into Crocks and I still have the same pair that my daughter got me when she was sixteen, almost 20 years ago!

Personally I love things that have quality and perseverance. I have bought things that last a year and things that have lasted forever. This year I would like winter wear that actually keeps me warm, because some of these claims to fame are full of it. Good for minus forty! Lies! I want some minus forty stuff AND something that actually keeps the bugs away, haven’t found a complete sure thing yet in either department. I will say though my UGG boots are the warmest things I have ever owned, no grip on ice what so ever, but the warmth has never let me down! I bet wine would keep me warm!

Stuff can build up, not bad things necessarily. Overflowing with happiness, hyperactivity, boredom, anything can just have you at a low boil. Keeping things mediocre and serene, doing the tiptoe, to keep everything calm and carry on. What if you let it out? Just run through your house, slam dunk laundry into the machine, make vroom vroom noises while you scrub the stovetop again, slap together a sandwich like you are in a hurricane and gotta make it before it all blows away. What will happen? Maybe the pets will slouch off into a corner or the wee ones will stare at you like you are nuts. Channel it and let it out.

What’s wrong with being fun as a grown up? Are we teaching our kids to harness all emotion and walk through life tight lipped and … and what? Have some fun with your life! Get off the tight rope, let your hair down, put lipstick on your eyebrows, do the moonwalk, sing loud. Well the expectation is… being civilized and setting the example. For whom, if it isn’t real? We are not robots, cry when you’re sad and laugh when you can. We get stale, wandering around in our own heads. I have made friends in a line up, stating things that pop into my mind and then out of my mouth. I had an elderly lady come up to me in the grocery store and thanked me for singing along to the music, because now she didn’t feel alone. You are not alone.

While you are thinking everyone is judging you, there is regret. While you are curbing your thoughts and actions, someone else is too. Say and do all the kind, fun things aloud. I climb grocery shelves because items I want are on top and I can’t reach, sure I get weird looks, once I got applause. Who cares? My long angry fuse doesn’t get time to start when I just be me. The little girl that learned to be quiet doesn’t need to live here anymore. Be your grown ass self! Live, do good things and enjoy your life!

I was stuck in a drive thru this past weekend. I went for someone else, so I was obligated to a forty five minute wait. I had a chance to observe a family obviously traveling from another province. The SUV was packed from top to bottom. They had three children surely under the age of eight. Momma had her hands full with the youngest and acquiring all the items needed for their pit stop and dad…. well was doing dad things. The oldest took on the role of caregiver to the middle child, Mr. Middle was a toddler. Clearly the age of understanding but doing as he pleased. This was a parking lot and the oldest was doing his best. Mr. Middle did not want to rejoin the family and his brother had squatted down to lay out the plan. At one point he looked towards mom for guidance, she clearly had her hands full. With a bit of tugging, he was able to get his brother to his feet and coax him to the car without much force, he even maneuvered him into a car seat.

I was impressed, and relieved. After being relieved of his duties,the oldest, simply turned back into the child he should be. I reflected on my own family during the rest of my wait. My oldest adoring her sister and then the two of them fiercely protecting their brother. They would override me in situations they felt were unsafe, they taught, they helped, they loved. Not saying this was always the way, there definitely was some pummelling going on over the years too. Siblings are extra arms. My oldest was my right arm for a very long time. I recognize that and am thankful. We don’t just raise our children, they raise us as well.

Families are a unit, a force to be reckoned with. All of it, the fighting, arguing is necessary but the pay off. Someone in your corner hopefully for life. Ones that will remember with you the moments after parents are gone. One that can call you out, insult you, but defend you at any given moment. They can call you anything, but nobody else can. As a parent that is our hope, that this unit is indestructible and will be a forever bond. Sure time and distance changes things, but in a crunch, they will have each other. When you don’t have a big family, the memories end with you. After matriarchs and patriarchs in family is gone, there is a loss. Hold on to ones that love you!

Treat yourself like a child today. Start your day with snuggles and a full belly. Go outside and see things for the first time, not the chore things. Look at a spiderweb, notice the dew on the grass, listen to the birds and Cicadas. Do this barefoot, throw a blanket on the ground and have a snack. No hurries, no worries, pull apart a dandelion, smell it, maybe taste it. A day of innocence and wonder. When someone speaks, really listen, but do what you want. Some of us grow up too fast.

We yearn to grow up, you desire independence. Why? Reflect on the milestones in your life, you have come a long way. Trial and error, natural consequences, poor judgement, but here you are. There is a reason for everything even the worst things, there was a lesson. Did you learn? Have you grown? Do you blame? Have resentment? Let it go, now is the time. There is a little you inside of you. We don’t control the past, it has happened. Make a new future.

Going backwards on a path is pointless, set the compass in front of you and go from there. Those things that hinder you can change. Change your mind and change your life. If you are stumbling, look for a better path. If you like the path, stay on it, see where it goes, stop worrying about what is around the next corner. Don’t fear it, enjoy it. Focus on the good things, recall happiness and make that a goal, even if just for one day.

Weather, seasons, time of day and time of year, help us regulate our next steps. Long days of summer can be so productive if all the fresh air doesn’t tire you out. It reminds me of the amount of time on screens I waste, when I am doing other things. There are so many things we can do without and only consider as an after thought. You can start to learn the limits of your wardrobe if you skip laundry. How much food is in the house and meals you can make without getting more groceries. We sure do collect without intention.

Compartmentalize your things and see how much you have. Minimize and go without and see if it can stick. Except paper towel, I tried to give up paper towel. It’s sounds good, until a pet gets sick! I think Covid had me stock piling items because of toilet paper shortages and stuff. Try waiting until the shampoo bottle is empty, it is harder than you think. I am a sale girl too, so when items are on sale, that I know we use, I get two. Regular priced groceries is no joke, but so is running out of kitty litter or butter.

I have been packing and purging, and I miss nothing. Out of sight, out of mind, I don’t even know what is in the boxes. Stuff and apparently things I don’t use, so probably not practical. I am going to try an experiment and get nothing unless it is needed now, until August first. I love personal challenges! Only “have to” purchases! If I have some, I can’t get more. It’ll be like the starting out phase, you know when no condiments are in the fridge. Any wagers on how many days I can do it, or maybe try it yourself. I bought bread, strawberries, and juice boxes today because I had zero in the house. I am already ahead! Wish me luck!

My inner child took over for a bit, it was wild. No cooking, cleaning, sorting, laundry, damn fun! I didn’t even get all the garbage out on garbage day, I am restoring order today. Mute and pause all at once! I don’t even think I was in the house. I did some visiting, danced with my pets, played in the ocean with hubby, pelted out songs, not quite balanced, but a reset. Always so serious, almost a ticking time bomb. I so love summertime, I cannot express how much!

This is your reminder to talk and express what you think and feel. It is liberating. You can’t solve world problems or maybe not even your own. Little things to restore your peace is key. Dropping hints is not good enough, avoiding hard conversations does nothing. If it is on your mind, get it out, there are good bits in there too. Don’t forget to laugh, at yourself, do something unusual and really let the crazy out. Maybe it is all the humidity melting and sweating the inner stuff out.

Hubby and I are friends too, if you met us, we are kind of like a slapstick comedy duo. We resolve a lot of issues with humour. We were brushing our teeth together and he was teasing about being the man, and I was to get out of his way. I finished brushing and told him the queen was now done and he could have a turn and he said I was done because he was the boss. As he leaned forward, I yelled, “ Spit!” as he did. I asked him who was the boss now? Laugh, now every few days, one of us yells, Spit! That’s how we role around here, have some fun people!

Live your life in the present, don’t wait. So many times I wait for the next time, next day, next weekend, next year. You will miss out, you will filter energy to the future, but what about now? What can you do right now? Essentially if your energy is in today, you can save the worry of another day. You can avoid regret, yes we all make plans for the future, that is important, just don’t allow valuable real estate in your head to be taken up with all of it.

Of course plan a vacation, day trip, gathering, just one and done. You said it, you are gonna do it and forget about it for now. The details are arranged later anyways. What if’s do nothing for you right now. I actually read that type of thing is a trauma response. It explained that the hardest part of dealing with trauma is letting yourself believe that you are able to expect good things to happen. That makes sense to me, when you lose a pet, loved one, you do put up walls that will prevent you from those situations again. Think of things that make you passionate, you feel that way because you relate to them.

Every day is a new day, clear the slate, erase all the factors. Be in this moment. This is the moment that counts. What are you doing today? Maybe you have to wait until after work or the kids are in bed, that’s valid, but do something. Don’t become stuck because of it. There are lots of why nots and there always will be. Just don’t waste your life waiting for another time.

It is time to rest, anyone else? Sometimes you get so caught up in doing something, you forget to do nothing. Do nothing, take your down time. You don’t have to be productive, it is never ending. You have to create it yourself. There will always be things. It is not defeat, it is enjoyment, always pick enjoyment. I complain about micro management, but I do it to myself. I always turn tasks into other tasks, nothing gets done completely. Basically stop putting off the good shit!

A ten second tidy, is a ten second tidy, not a four hour mission. Complete what you set out to do and stop. I turned off procrastination and created a monster. A lot is done, but I lost time. A whole other level of no clocks, no calendars. No clocks, no calendars is for fun not crazy. I am still drinking cold coffee, relax, sip your coffee and relax. I wake up and plan so I don’t get distracted, you need to put some fun in that plan. Don’t work your whole life to work your whole life.

Balance, I guess that is the real secret. It is not one or the other, you can do both. I went to a market this weekend, and was asked, “Do you ever make your own cookies?” I gushed with my answer about how I loved to cook and bake and just never have time. I am an idiot, I have learned to ask for cookies, I need to also make the cookies. Right out of my own mouth, answers. Right out of my own mouth, roadblocks. The inside voice comes out, listen to negative nelly in there! You control you, you decide, tell her to lighten up! Go have some fun!

After the kids are grown, you reclaim a bit of yourself that gets buried in the parenting. That final stretch where the kids are trying to assert themselves is pretty brutal. A good friend of mine referred to each child as a tour of duty. I couldn’t have summed it up better. Each child is a separate battle, the logistics, playing field, tactics, it is all in there. There is a toll you pay getting them to adulthood.

On paper it sounds good, game plan is all set out and your approach depends on the circumstances. Secret attack, guns blazing erring on the side of caution, scouting the perimeter, I mean I know you are raising angels. Bless the raisers of angels. If you have zero challenges, like absolutely at no time had to count to ten or complain, that’s great!In hindsight my crew was not horrible, certainly not perfect and beyond better than I was. My momma calls me angel, sometimes.

For those that are still in the throes of battle, I feel for you. It is stressful, it is lonely and thankless. No harder job out there without pay. I suppose the pay is there, but it is held until they are grown and they finally get it. I hope your battle is swift and you come out the other side unharmed and not too unhinged.