For all the things that float around in my mostly empty head, happiness is floating to the top. Perhaps it is floating because of all the crazy amount of rain we have had. Really though, it seems the surface stuff has been a little less. The only things I have stuffed is the old stuff. The new stuff isn’t getting packed up, I am not carrying it like pieces of trash. Seems to go through the system like a washing machine. Take it in, wash it around, spin, rinse and done. This I need to maintain. Music, movement and a support network all installed.

Now is the time for joy! I find laughter has been so easy lately. Nothing like sore muscles from laughing so much! The little humans that surround me everyday are starting to have their aha moments. That is a fine thing to witness, they just glow right from the inside out! It is quite a transformation. You want to do something great in this world, give a child self esteem! I swear they grow three inches! Building others up should be part of your life motto. People need that, everyone likes to feel appreciated.

This weekend do that for someone. I race through hallways everyday fixated on something, I barely see people. They are there, I am just preoccupied. Slow up a bit in your down time, take an extra minute to really look at someone. Make a connection, smile, talk, make it a mission to make someone’s day. Get out of your head. Be the grocery clerks feel good story they share when they get home. Give yourself some smile wrinkles! I know not everyone can match that energy. Just take one day and empower someone!

If there are no more tomorrows, what would be your last day? Did you do it all? Are you on the sidelines? Do you look out at the world or do you participate? Why do we always question? We need to stop looking past the moment we are in. Just do! Really though, you need to live, not just exist. You are not rooted in the ground beneath your feet, go!

I was complaining to myself about last summer’s weather. We didn’t really get summer, it rained all the time. It was so hard to plan something, on and on in my head. Last summer there were some incredibly hot days for a few weeks. I lived in the pool. Friends came by, hubby built me an outdoor paradise. My daughter kidnapped me and we went to the “cuts.” I grew a ton of tomatoes. I got away with co workers, got a weekend with my brother. It was a different summer, but I spent time with family and it was wonderful. Sure there was crap, but there will always be crap.

If time was wasted, well that is on me. If I remember it as a write off, again, on me. Only thing to do going forward is just do, rain or shine. Poor me is not for me! Spring just started, summer is a long way off. Time is now, that is where my focus should be. That is my problem, it has been a heck of a year, week, day. There are plenty more, tomorrow is new, don’t waste it! Go do!

If I know you, speak to you, reach out to you. You are not a chore, you are not an unpleasant but necessary task. I surely hope this is a mutual feeling. I will say my tasks keep me from doing all that I want. I don’t know that I am missing something until I do one of those things that make me genuinely happy. I had to run errands before more weather arrived. I can’t recall the last time I went out on my own. I took the long way, I went slow. I stopped and took pictures, deer in the field, clear cut trees, a funny stump, a barn up on a hill. I stopped at places I haven’t been in a while. I had time with my thoughts. The air was so fresh, the sun was out, I had time to process and reflect on things that get buried in the day to day. It was what I needed.

You can’t always be someone for everyone. You dole out all the pieces and have nothing left for yourself. I will give my time willingly. I just find certain times of year are more depleting than others. I get caught up in my job, constantly setting mini goals. You have to be focused to attain focus. You have to regulate your emotions, you need to mediate, advocate and plan constantly, well I do anyways. Idle hands don’t help anyone. I go deep into thought, don’t hear my own name being called sometimes. I used to bring it home with me at the end of the day, but I have learned to shut it down.

Home is home, work is work, and the one I struggle with is me being separate from all of that too. Removing myself from both, lets me just look at me for a minute. Recharge a bit, see where my deficits are, makes me a better person. Just stepping away from everything to sync the system. I’m like most gadgets, unplug me and when I am plugged back in, I am back better than ever with all the new updates installed, the glitches removed! Probably keeps viruses away and avoids a replacement being needed as well. If you don’t put the oxygen mask on yourself first, you help no one. It has been a repeated error, I hope to correct it and maintain it!

I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times. Everything we do has a choice. Do we make the right choice every time? Probably not, some decisions are not that easy. Should you buy the brand name or not? Should you even be shopping? In every life we have big decisions, another baby? A big move, when to retire, getting married, the list is endless. We have to decide what our motivator is. Are we basing decisions to appease others? I hope not, you live with your decisions. I remember a highly regarded television therapist saying to a couple, “ You wanna be right? Or you wanna be married?”

Numero uno is the one that matters, that is the person to keep happy, at the end of the day, your decisions impact you. You live with them, when everything else falls away and the voices quiet, what will help you sleep at night. Delaying a decision is okay too. Today may not be the day to decide. Process, weighing the impact, gauging the risks are all very important. For those important things, take your time. There will always be what ifs, there will be a point of no return. Sometimes you may get to change your mind.

Don’t beat yourself up over wrong decisions. What’s done is done. That is what life is, live and learn. For most, it is the hard way. Just like kids there is no manual, life doesn’t have one either. Trial and error, a thousand advisors, worse case scenarios. A perfect plan can still go awry. I don’t think any decision has left me completely settled in my own judgement. I am happy, I am safe and I am still here. Hindsight will always be 20/20. Being certain is the end of the rainbow, the dream you will always chase. Just live, just breathe!

My compass is way off, I have no clue if I’m coming or going. I have heard the geese, but not seen the huge return. I have no clue what the weather is doing, it’s all a bit of a shambles. I find I have had a mind shift once again. Perception is ever changing, and this is good, growth is always good. Life is a Pandora’s box filled with trinkets and surprises you never really see coming. I still myself and let go of worry, get rid of foreboding, but stuff still happens, perhaps it always will.

Earth is hard mode, oh yes friends I like that. If we were in a game, and set the level of difficulty I sure would choose the easy mode. Life is navigation, like a book there is conflict and resolution. Our chapters are long. Some are thick with character development. Some are dry with drawn out story lines that seem meaningless. Our stories are not rushed, or at least they shouldn’t be. We need to savour our days, even the bad ones, a message or lesson is in there.

Not everyone gets a happy ending or a chance to say, “The end.” You get what you get, or of late, the more common phrase we have been using, “It is, what it is.” You can not control everything and you have to be okay with that. Letting go of things is one of the biggest things we need to learn. We also need to understand that it doesn’t equate easy for everyone. Do the best you can. The best you can, can never be taken from you.

Oh my the stories we can tell eh? You ever give yourself to the game? Life game, volleyball, soccer, hockey? You give 900% everyday and then you get an injury, you’re out, you are down.. but you wanna play. You love it so much you want to play!! Accommodations can be made, they are available to you. They give you the handicap, the one up, the assistance to play with/ for your passion.

We are talking about the ones that are up early 5:30 to practice, play the game and stay until 8 to practice some more. During the game, you go the extra mile almost a thousand miles! There is always that almost moment, so close to that extra point, the goal line, the shot you miss. Why does the focus turn to that? Why do you beat yourself up over that? Why is it what everyone talks about? You give and give, you are an example to others, but people look for flaws!

I think people resent those that do well. They see the success and drive as a threat, maybe because they don’t have it? Maybe because someone being happy or passionate about seemingly ordinary things is unusual? Don’t poo poo on someone’s parade. Kids love to change the rules of the game, when they are losing. Some grown ups are children. When the game changes suddenly, when it feels like sabotage, don’t look within. It is not you, you keep your passion! I could tell you what Momma wouldn’t say…

The time change has always been a thorn in my side. Time to shut er down! To all the people I told that it changes on Sunday, giving us a new time on Monday…sorry about that. First off, I have been a day ahead all week. In the USA, we were an hour behind the time here at home. I didn’t change my car time, so driving an hour to the border was like no time passed at all. At home my bedroom clock had already gone ahead an hour?? So I looked up the time change and it said Sunday March 10th at 2am. My brain retained it changes Sunday. Two am is Sunday. Even though it has always changed on Saturday night, I was convinced I had it wrong. I mean I could be, it used to change at the end of March and the end of October, but here we are!

When I got up this am, my phone said 7:30. I got my coffee and went to my computer and it said 8:45. I checked my phone again, 7:45. I picked it up to text the world for answers and when I unlocked it, boom an hour ahead. I am sitting in a time warp. Already confused on the day, March hasn’t picked a season yet, and all the clocks say different times. My mom texted me, to ask what time it was, her phone hasn’t changed!!! Bahahaha! Glad to know I have company in my confusion!

Should all click together by tomorrow, I have already lost half a day. This is the same rodeo, different dance, different year. One of my kids needed to be picked up on a time change night. I wasn’t sure if I needed to go an hour earlier or later. They say they are going to get rid of daylight savings, some places already have. I would be okay with that! For now, I will enjoy the sun being up, when I get up, and the sun setting later in the day. Last night it set by 6:30, so tonight 7:30? Nice! Maybe tomorrow will be summer? Maybe I will go back to bed…

Any winter trip we have done, is usually arranged 3 months ahead. This one, we were on the fence and it was decided with less than 20 days to arrange. That is about as spontaneous as we can get nowadays. Vigorous planning and an immense network of people helping with the details at home. I choked on the cookies! Hubby asked for them and got me started. It was never about the destination, just the journey. Phones off, feet up, being a couple.

The year we got married, we attended a charity event. We offered to go through the Niagara region and pick up all the wine for the event. It was an extremely hot and humid day. We did a detour to the falls and ended up running through landscaping sprinklers. It is one of my favourite memories, all the tourists hustling to see the falls and sights, and just us running through sprinklers, drenched and laughing. That is how I see us, creating our own fun, wherever we are.

We have swam underwater caves in Mexico, drove a jeep and speed boat in Dominican, a double decker bus in Cuba, a buggy ride through Central Park, seen the Grand Canyon, slots in Vegas and now to the tip of the southern states. All fabulous, but what do we talk about? We talk about the Uber driver and his story, the bank tellers little expresso cups on their break, roosters on a beach, the toddler riding her parent’s suitcase, the CSI badge for Larry. Time well wasted. Times that are off the cuff. Whatever you have, enjoy it! I asked hubby what was his favourite part of the trip, he replied, “Being with you.”

So many topics force us to look at ourselves through a magnifying glass. It is so easy to see our failures, sore spots, lack lustre life, dependencies. If you try, you will see more. You are definitely more than these things! No one should rob you of your self worth, including yourself. It is different for everyone. Do you get your value from your job, relationships, body image? Is your view distorted, damaged, skewed?

We are only human, and we can settle into our roles in life. We can live in that role and feel no fault. You can be on top of your game and on track. It is the hurdles and divisions in the path that set people back. For some of us one step at a time is survival. Don’t become too hyper focused on the steps, you could look up and be in a totally different setting, even lost in this neck of the woods. The best navigators need a compass, map or guide. In survivalists shows, there is still a camera man. True survivalists go it alone until they can’t. “I just want to live on an island alone, with no internet and no people.” You hear that type of thing all the time. Forever?

You need to navigate the world and the people. I could go to that island for a week once a month, but even being so far back in the woods, you still gotta come out to hunt. If you still haven’t learned to walk away from toxicity in your life, if you are still uncomfortable saying no, start there. “ I am so tired of all the negative people.” Change your people, select things and environments that make you happy. I love libraries, old buildings, bridges, history, and nature. I don’t watch the news or science fi, I have no interest in going to Alaska, or sitting on an island alone forever. Live and be happy.

March is here, it is a leap year, the weather is quite a trip. The snow blower, may have been used three times this winter, that is a blessing. The school year had maybe three storm days, also a gift. Mother Nature melted all the snow and warmed up in two days. Flooding came and went, with the roads. Then the temperature dipped to minus 27 with the windchill, the next day. I thought I had hot and cold flashes!

I wonder what season we will get tomorrow? I decided to match the weather with a spa visit. Thermal therapy, steam sauna, ice bucket, walk outside in the minus temps to the hot pool, repeat. Now that is the way to enjoy temperature fluctuations. Loved it! Perfect way to start vacay! I would like to have spring on time and an extended summer, warm and dry. Last summer was filled with lots of rain and one or two weeks of crazy hot weather. Had a blast, harder to plan.

I got through the winter, no snow tires. I didn’t go out much. March has just started, I won’t hold my breath. I am not really a fan of March, too many false starts to better weather. We shall see! I just want to pack up the parka and snow pants…I want to wash the salt off my vehicle, I want to be done with static. My hair clinging to my face after the hat comes off, and sticking to the chap stick on my lips that I can’t go without. It doesn’t have to be ninety degrees, above 70 would be a start. Saying it makes me smile. At least I can visualize it coming, some winters seem never ending. This one I feel it coming to an end. Could be just wishful thinking, but considering how winter makes me feel, I will take the upside. Better days are coming!.