Sometimes you gotta add a little crazy to get through the day. This weather has my skin dry, lips chapped, snow blind and my hair can’t keep shape with the amount of time in a hat. I walk around talking in different accents, making faces at myself in the mirror, just to keep the monotony away. No maple syrup in this tree, I am tapped out. So I just unlock the crazy, belting out songs, trying dance steps on feet that feel like stumps lately. If I get cold I just leave on my snow pants.

Mountain gets steeper and I just keep climbing. On my stumpy feet (insert maniacal laughter). Anywho, apparently I should continue to plan and when plan day comes try my best to follow through. The things that give you anxiety should not be avoided, you need to do them and stay at it until the anxiety goes away. If you do them and stay anxious then the body starts to become accustomed to staying anxious until the thing is over. That is how you end up never leaving the house. Well my summary of a lot of words said in therapy. What can I say no picture/ visual.

I am poking fun at myself of course. My weekend was wonky and I need a do over, this will be a long week. This is why I don’t make goals in January. Too much pressure on a new year. Promises of it being a good one, any set back and the year is ruined. So without the deadlines, when I look back, I will decide then. See you all at the top of that mountain. Some days the pace is slower, I’ll get there eventually!

Here we go into the deep freeze and hibernation. It has not stalled me completely, I may be a little more unfriendly. I say things like, I don’t like it and no a lot more. My plan brain won’t plan. I would like to fast forward please, but I watched Click… I think that is the name with Adam Sandler, and I don’t want do that! I don’t have a solution to make winter go faster. So it is one day at a time. It is not the snow, it is the cold, the roads, my bones. We are at the end of January, but that means nothing, because February and March still have to crawl by.

I did mix in vitamin D3 and B100 and it does make a huge difference. I at least have energy.. to do nothing. I have changed some previous winter behaviours. Even right now, I find it difficult to come up with something I can do independently. I can plan fun things to look forward to, but it doesn’t help with the now. Yoga, coffee, book blankie for the win. Maybe not in that order. Then maybe some Skip Bo, Crib, Yatzee and Backgammon to break up the day. Got get some music on and Voh de oh doh.

Whatever makes your little old ant move the rubber tree plant is what you have to do.

🎵Cause he’s got high hopes , he’s got high hopes, he’s got high apple pie in the sky hopes, so when you’re feeling low, feel like letting go, just remember that ant! Oops there goes another rubber tree, oops there goes another rubber tree, oops there goes another rubber tree plant! 🎼

You know what I’m talking about!

The first winter we lived in New Brunswick, we got a whopper of a storm. It was roughly four days and we ended up with over five feet of snow. There was no road, with the drift we couldn’t get out our side door. Hubby went up on the house and could jump into the snow drift, it wasn’t far. I had a three year old and a baby less than a year old. I remember thinking where on earth did I move to? Lots of snowmobiles came in handy that storm. It was one heck of a clean up. No snowblower back then, just young ambition. We haven’t had one like that in one big dump since, thank God. I don’t remember being anxious about it, it was kinda fun.

Now we had an ice storm in 2017 that knocked out power for over 80 hours. That was not fun. January and no power proved to be pretty chilly before the first 24 hours were up. We had a generator and chose to keep our fridge and freezer plugged in with a small heater. After the roads were clear, we went out in the car to charge our phones and keep warm. I sent my mom to stay with her sister that had a wood stove! We went to our daughters to get a shower. I was ready to go to a hotel, hubby was going down with the ship to protect the water lines from freezing. Decisions were being made, and it came back on.

It always amazes me that with modern conveniences that we can still be just smacked with these things. I have a water cooler, and fill up the tub when I hear a prediction of extreme weather coming. The generator hooks up to the house and we make sure we have gas. Is it age that makes me more nervous? I know there are lots of people that don’t have safe guards or back ups for these type of events. I miss my wood heat because of it. This winter is a weird one. Deep freeze, snow, rain, repeat. I don’t like deep freeze but I hope this is a mild one. I find my hibernation isn’t high this year. I would like to keep that! However we are not even a month into winter yet, so we shall see.

I am starting to see a huge disconnect in being self sufficient. Trades are on the decline, people don’t want to work in retail or the food industry. This is pretty scary, generation X better start sharing the knowledge that was shared from the boomers. Whatever you got, share it hard. This is today people, if you don’t know how to check your oil or change a tire, learn now. Come over, I will teach you. Automation is here but you need to know stuff.

Find Gramma’s recipe and make some bread. If you don’t have a set of tools, this is not good. You got a broken appliance? Take it apart, allen keys, screwdriver, wrenches, learn now. In the past I have helped with plumbing, electric, drain my washer, cleaned out a pipe. Helped install flooring, cabinets, build crap, fix a car stereo, replaced a ball joint. These are not fun things, but my my, you might need to know something. My desktop tapped out, my son, the computer guy said I might need a new switch. I told him to get dad to take it out and I would pick up a new one. At the shop it would be three hundred dollars or more. Well there was a little button battery in there we never knew about. The same kind my garage door openner takes, replaced that, Boom! Power! A button battery folks, less than two bucks. A power switch is a junk bunch more! My dryer didn’t work, it has a fuse, Boom, Power…

The good thing about the internet, with research you can problem solve and YouTube has step by step tutorials to do plenty. Ever have a broken wheel hub? There is a tutorial for that, broken dryer belt? Tutorial for that, weird noise on the heat pump? You get it? Knowledge is lagging, don’t ask Facebook, ask google, search YouTube, or Lord willing a grandparent or parent. Actually if it is tech related, a kid!!

Storm stays are a bonus day, you can lay around if that’s what you need. If not, let’s pick a room. What’s the function of this room? I am picking a hard one, because that is what I have left. Let’s say it is the kitchen. You cook, you eat there, maybe you visit with friends here too. Take everything on a flat surface to the table. Wipe all those flat surfaces clean. Wash, dry and put away any dishes that are dirty. Go to the table and return any items that have a spot on the counter. Anything left over? Do they belong in this room? If not put them where they belong.

Pretty easy, we are not done. Open the first cupboard, do not look at all the cupboards! Just pick one, how often do you use this stuff? Do you even know what’s in there? What about way up at the top? If you have not used it in a year, take it out. Put like things together, just the spices, just the snacks, just, well you get the picture. Now all those discarded items, put them on the table. Repeat with every cupboard and drawer. Just one at a time. Everything on the table goes. Into the back of your car, into a bag for someone you know, to the thrift shop, garbage.. bye bye. Wipe the table down and take a nap. You deserve it.

Don’t think about the big picture. Set a timer for ten minutes. Go do something else, then in an hour another ten minutes. We get overwhelmed with the picture in our mind, all of the stuff ahhhh! No, just one thing at a time. Ten minutes is the secret of ten. Anything big you can do for ten minutes, stop and do another ten later. Try it.

I am trying to implement some fun this winter. My non winter self needs to be sure I pull something out of this season. I want to be sure I find balance between work and play, without freezing. I guess I am a winter wuss. I mean it isn’t the worse season for others. When I picture the perfect day in winter, it is mild, there are big flakes falling, a big fire, warm drink, blanket, low music maybe a book. Sounds like a good date. I like walking in storms but just like around a small block. I like snowman and snowshoeing, I just don’t want to be cold in minus 20.

I guess I need to find out what winter wear is out there to help me achieve the cozy feeling. Then of course I would need a personal driver. I guess maybe some magic? I used to do stuff with the kids in winter, I feel like a sled and skates run risk of injury. I am not active in winter. I just wasted last winter, I don’t want to do that again. I need to make myself get active, involved have some kind of purpose, besides Netflix!

We used to go away, it was perfect, but changes have made it harder to do. I get burnt out earlier every year. Lack of freedom is tiresome. I need a retreat or an adjustment to my thinking. Perception sways too much in this season. Maybe I need to start jet setting away every weekend. I could just pack a bag and wait at the airport for a stand by and go like the wind! That actually appeals to me . Whatever it is I gotta work out some kind of plan to survive.

Relationships thrive in kindness and service. It is not just about love, it is community in family and communication. There is care and more important caring. They are not one sided, they have to be mutual, respectful. It is never perfection, it is being there for the ruined moments and turmoil. You have to say I am sorry and sometimes you have to say it first. Even admitting you are wrong.

Relationships are not just the ones you share with a partner, they are ones with family and friends too. These bonds are developed with commitment and loyalty. If you lack in all relationships, maybe it’s you. This is not a criticism just a caution. Being self assured and confident scares some people, don’t change that. Being aggressive and opinionated can be intimidating to others or even clash with others that have the same traits. It doesn’t mean that you won’t find friends.

Not feeling appreciated sometimes happens, there is give and take in any dynamic. Try to give more than take. Don’t give just to get, but you should have a feeling of equality. Maintaining relationships is work in both sides. It is time you have to etch out. The lifers are the ones, you can see anytime and it is as if no time has passed at all. Easy comfortable silences and conversations that flow for hours are the best kind. If you find yourself flying solo for awhile, learn to appreciate these moments. It’s okay to be alone, you also need to have a relationship with yourself. Learning to be good to yourself, teaches you to be good to others.

What to do, not how to please. Someone looking over my shoulder is creepy. Achieve B, start at A. Big picture, details come later. Words and numbers are Charlie Brown’s teacher, I need pictures. Mumble, mumble, mumble, I can recite it back. Means nothing. I don’t think of it as a deficit, maybe because I know what works for me. I use it to bring home the point. A child that runs into the road everyday, and everyday they have to come in for running into the road. Draw a road, get a toy car and have a grape as representation of the child. Roll the grape onto the road and squish the grape with the car. Child no longer goes on the road. Just saying that words go in and mean nothing to some.

I let things happen, then follow up. I know for myself that being told very specifically how to do something makes my skin prickle. Presentations that are read to me, when it is right there for me to read, chills. I also know that some people need that. When I get instructions, in writing please, I read one sentence at a time, step by step. Hubby reads nothing and can just do it, gasp! Parent teacher appointments I was always told that assignments weren’t completed after several prompts to complete them. I would always ask to see the assignment.. If it isn’t written down, it doesn’t exist, there is nothing to recall. My favourite assignments were the ones with choices. Teach your classmates how to….use a cartoon, play, diagram, short story, model. The best projects ever!

Modelling an action is huge, written words are huge, checklists all great tools. Words are just puffs of smoke that go in and are gone in a few seconds. Show someone how to do something and walk away. Come back, compliment the attempt. One instruction at a time if it is verbal. If you give instructions and there is no attempt, show an example and go away. I worked in a factory as a teen. Lots of words, messed up orders but good boss. Then the boss changed, stand over you, show you nothing, critiquing every move, stand outside the bathroom with a timer! Nope never went back. No value, no respect. We do our best, when we are allowed to make mistakes and get feedback that lets us feel our worth.

You see a lot about the kids from the eighties. The typical drank from hoses and home by streetlights. It runs fairly close to the truth. My oldest had a watch and all of my kids came home to my bellows that I’m sure echoed off the river and back. My kids ran in a pack with several other kids and they were safer in numbers. I hardly ever see kids outside now. We have to be cautious.

My first school backed onto a ravine, it had a steep hill on each side, woods and a small creek. I was at that school until grade five. We were permitted to play there and in the winter we would go sliding on the hill. We didn’t have teachers watching us there. We lined up, we took turns or at least most of us did. Someone always got hurt as the hill turned into an ice luge. You walked alone back to the school to get fixed up. Your blood was a warning to others that maybe it was dangerous. I remember a little grade two boy playing with a 2×4 in the ravine and he whacked me in the stomach with it because I told him it wasn’t safe. Another time in the schoolyard, a child licked the windowsill and their tongue was stuck until someone went in and got a teacher and they came out to help.

I got hurt three times at school during recess, besides the two by four incident. Once I was watching the middle school play hockey, yes we had an outdoor rink with boards a round it, I got the backhand of a hockey stick lining up to take a shot. My first black eye. Another time, I sprained my ankle, jumping in on my turn skipping. The principal carried me to his car and drove me home. In middle school, another school with a ravine, woods and a huge river, I stepped on a nail and it went through my foot. Those are the ones that stand out. Sometimes I think we micro manage too many things. Stuff happens anyways, we will blame anyways. It is inevitable, it is life, hopefully you learn from it.

I need to get used to writing 2024. Seems weird, 2000 was the oddest change over. Of course all the hype over that was even more strange. Here we are another year has past, when you think about the creation of calendars, time, what a job that must of been. My Calendar is already filling with appointments, and changed appointments to try and accommodate this busy life I run. Whatever your new year has brought to you, I hope you implement what is best for yourself, remembering to take imagined deadlines off the table.

Breeze into your new year if you can. Don’t just focus on goals, focus on your dreams. Bring to life your imagined best days. Doing nothing is okay. I did that today, inhaling a book in five hours, felt like what I was suppose to do. Get your imagination fired up and do something fun. Don’t fill up with dread over the have to. Try to avoid the regret over the things that you maybe didn’t do.

Half finished projects are just that, half finished. They can be finished anytime the mood strikes. Inspiration doesn’t have a human timeline. Picture yourself this tiny speck within our vast universe, the world is much bigger than you can imagine. Time does not stop, go with your energy. Sometimes it overflows, sometimes it is a trickle. I made my bed, I suppose I should get dressed. Next week, I will miss my pjs. Vacation arrived just in time and I feel ready to go another round in the grown up world. Onward and upward 2024!