I have been immersed in reading for a few days. I love historical fiction, an intricate story wrapped around true events. I am always amazed by what I don’t know. You hear snippets of history but don’t know the story behind the story or phrases. It’s like when you hear the real meaning behind nursery rhymes for the first time. Learning history in school is different than when you seek out information about the past.

I am one of those people that like to read the information located at trail heads, or write ups on historical buildings. Seeing the past within buildings that host objects and items is always fascinating to me. Historical fiction is not always a glimpse of the glory days that we come to believe. I have been to restored places that were ahead of their time and some that cast little light on misfortune of that same time. I find books give a voice to scenarios that you have never really considered.

Crime, mysteries, love stories start to become predictable sometimes. To be transported to an event in the past and given a narrative from all walks of life is real. I like real events and someone else’s perception of overcoming. I don’t know a lot of history of our Southern neighbours, so sometimes I am educated at the same time. I finish books and feel like I would like to hear more, to me those are the best endings!

I am outside most of the day this time of the year. Soaking up the vitamin D and fresh air! It’s funny how hyper aware you can become when you have time to consider yourself for a minute. Malnourished, sleep deprived and auto pilot, if you are too, make some changes. You can take yourself for granted so easily. You do have a community of people whether you choose to acknowledge it or not. I always become so self reliant, I have to do it myself because it feels like giving up control is failure. What a crock, know that you have as many friends ahead of you as you have behind you. How insightful you become when you get a minute.

No clocks, no calendars fixes a lot of things. Today I will finally change that one analog clock that is still one hour behind. How rebellious am I to fight change and time? Beliefs and instincts are good, you can not change facts. I hope summer drips by and that same drip provides an IV of happiness to last a lifetime. I will read my third book today, one that was left unfinished, not like me to desert a book. I have added new characters to my life’s story and I will rejoin the round table of my family that so often put up with the distractions that divert my attention. Yes indeed summer is my season.

We all have a team, a universal team that even when not together will always be there. Shortcomings and celebrations always on your team. I have talked before of our cheerleaders and still I need to reread the words and listen to my own advice. Right now I have a reel challenge, you know the reels friends send of ..we gotta do this? I need to compile those and see how many can be completed this summer. Something fun and different. Last summer was amazing with little get aways and reconnection. So excited for this season of adventures! Put me on your list for a visit!

The best part of family and friends is the stories you share. There is no faster way to make a connection than conversation. I cherish the ones from the generation before, your personal history. Getting together with people and finding the common denominator that binds you. When you make history with someone and you recount the stuff that pulls you in. A history with someone can be short but can create the most amazing past. Anyone in your life has a story attached to it. Might not be the best story but are bits that are the composition of our lives.

Laughing at the past, rehashing moments that leave a lasting impression are important, no matter what side of the coin they fall on. You can’t be you without them, they shape and change us. You can’t get the good without the bad. There is a lesson in everything. Couple friends, girlfriends, guy friends and family all create you. Every relationship adds something. Since perception is different in everyone, hearing the same story from different people can give you the villain or the hero. This creates the old saying, “his story, her story and the truth.” I used to believe you had to hear it from the horses mouth, now I just take it all with a grain of salt.

I find that the stories I have heard about my younger self, I tend to analyze. The past is a giant science experiment, the conclusion is yet to be written. Obviously it is best to fill your days making memories. Whatever that looks like to you. I invented this really weird laugh with hubby the past two days just for fun. It will get old fast, but it makes him laugh. Stupid simple stuff that creates happiness it never has to be big grandiose things. I like our stories and many of our conversations start with remember when. Make a memory today, it may fade into the memory bank for another day that you may need to make a smile.

It is hard to dig deep and be totally invested in something and still juggle all the things. You can get inside your head you forget everything else, like feral survival mode. It is different for everyone. It could be planning an event, supporting someone, finishing a project. I have been absent in so many roles to be present in one. Sorry about that, sorry to anyone who felt they were on the back shelf. I also put myself there too, so once the cobwebs are scrubbed and the shelf empties, I feel present.

I am an organized person and I can tell when life is driving the car. The juggling stops and the balls are falling down. I forget things, I can’t find stuff, changes put me into a tailspin. Balance is hard and maybe it always will be. I will disperse the eggs into several baskets instead of keeping them all in one and be sunshine and rainbows, until next time. How do I learn from it? I have tried the yes person, the no person, the go with the flow person, I will figure out the manual eventually.

Right now in the wee hours, as the world sleeps I am present. I need these moments to make a plan in the silence. Summer will always be my discovery time, my peace, my rebuild. I return to the princess of my castle and breathe the earth’s energy. I wish it was longer but that is another day. I will enjoy everyday that I am given. For me summer recharges the batteries that have been too low for too long. Happy summer!

Sometimes growth has to happen without our acknowledgment. You come through something to the other side of it before you realize the lesson. We can be so involved in a task that you become lost in it. Hyper focused and vigilant, no tomorrows, just today. When it is over you realize the loss and quite often the gains. How something makes you feel isn’t felt until it is done. I am not sure how we become so immersed in something that we are not even cognizant of the effects. When the outcome is good, we rejoice, if the outcome is negative we mourn, lick our wounds and move on.

We age and we are still pliable, we are still creating a mould of who we will become. We may see it in others before we recognize it in ourselves. I catch myself thinking, I never used to think, act, have beliefs like this before. Evolving to a better person is subtle, seeing someone grow into a better version is a celebration. We can be part of that, we can have a hand in it. If you have grown a tiny human and they do things that are strong and insightful even if it is different than us we silently cheer. If you have friends that struggle and you see them step out of that space we carry a knowing smile. If people are constantly plotting against each other, they are not your people.

I have been shuffling through memories this year. Weeding out the old and inserting the better. This process can be harrowing and even draining. Get it right with yourself and the rest falls into place. Forget what you can not change. You do not need to live there, it is expensive for it to take up valuable real estate in your mind. Send in an eviction notice and clear those dusty spaces for something better. The full moon of June is over, go towards summer with all the positive vibes you can muster 💗

We waste time, all the time. I realized something that was obvious recently, combination. What if during the idle time, it was combined with productive things. Adding something beneficial, frankly is beneficial. Mini goals on the side! I have tried treadmill and TV, doesn’t work for me, walking needs to be outside in my mind. There are a ton of things that don’t work, be sure to mix it up and choose things that do work. Ambition and approach, sounds simple enough. If you are a go getter and just do, well you already have this. The planners, overthinkers, dreamers, get delayed.

Note to yourself three things for today, for the week and for the month. Choose things for yourself, something specific you want. Today I need to exercise, paint a garden object that goes outside and make banana bread. This week I want to regain all my yoga poses, prep yard for summer and complete a declutter project I have started. This month I need to have the smallest room in the house redone, have all the outdoor spaces complete for summer and regain complete body strength. They are all building towards month end. The daily and weekly are simple blocks to build towards the end result. I can think of several ways that I could combine the tasks while I watch TV or scroll FB. The projects cost me nothing unless I want them to. I have everything I need to do them. I have to get the ambition and keep the momentum.

If you want to learn a new skill, plan a vacation, or build relationships, do it in threes. Loading on extra, diminishes the focus. Just bits, itty bitty bits. The three daily help you step closer to the weekly. The weekly helps you see where you are at and what needs to be done for the monthly. It is a theory, one of many, but a willingness to try is all you need.

I am not perfect, but I expect to be. No one will ever judge me as hard as I judge myself. I do not like to be wrong, I don’t like can’t. I am more of a I won’t and do what I want kinda gal. I like to do things myself, so I can say I did it, by myself, I didn’t need any help. I also like when someone does for me without asking. Not in a bossy way but a mind reader way, and of course is totally unrealistic. On the flip side of that, I like to do for others before they ask, predicting needs so I am not told what to do. This is a huge discovery for me. Pretty unreasonable to maintain and probably a little bit of an only child thing.

It shows me why I am stubborn, I only had to answer to me. It explains my mini started projects. They get hard, I move on until I problem solve, then go back when I have figured it out. This is fine independently but start to finish people stay with things until it is done all in one sitting. The procrastination I used to suffer with forever was more fear inspired. If I didn’t begin something hard, I wouldn’t have to feel failure and guilt for making my way through it on my terms. It doesn’t bother me to work at a task for fifteen minutes, leave it, go on to something else finish them both over several days rotating back and forth until done. Works for me and curbs the procrastination.

It is funny how self discovery continues all through your life. Just like the ability to make changes throughout that time. We are malleable at any age. I always seem to be surprised by that. I see it in others, and only after self reflection do I discover mine. One of the principle themes that helped me create this blog was asking for cookies. I ran into the person that taught me that the other day. Such a delight, brought it all back, triggered this whole journey. It reminded me, mind readers cannot happen. It is you! What kind of cookie do you need? Don’t make people guess, pick the one you want, the recipe and the ingredients if you need to. Ask for exactly what you want or need!

I tend to go at things full force getting nowhere fast. Take out a box and fill it with fortitude, endurance and resilience. Like a deep well, draw upon it as needed, your medicine for the day. Spring fever has hit, it’s like a need to do kind of feeling. My do doesn’t work too well, so I will reach into the box and see what I can muster up. Slow and steady works too, you don’t have to conquer the world, one continent at a time will do. Try five minutes at a time, a slow pace, build stamina. You are suppose to breathe through movements to oxygenate and build on that.

Grandstanding, cheering crowds are not going to happen in everyday life. Pat your own back, smile and acknowledge progress in yourself. Building blocks for your own progress really comes from within. Your mindset, your body, your business. The expectation was for the Hare to win the race, he was cocky and thought he had it all figured out. The odds were in his favour, everyone loves the underdog, coming up slow with only the goal of the finish line. It isn’t win or lose, it’s participation and having fun with it. Don’t force things, just keep going.

Seasons come and go, life passes and none of it is within your control. Hard things happen and you can do hard things. Maybe it is a tomorrow thing, a later thing but you only control what you do, no promises in the outcome. You can’t go around it, move through it, at your pace.

May brings gifts daily, low flying eagles, the bees, early daffodils, tulips and crocus. I feel the difference. I was talking to a physiotherapist and they mentioned that the seasons can affect healing, fresh air, warmth, sunshine. I hear that, loud and clear! Maybe we should migrate with the birds in the winter, can we get a doctor’s note for that? I am thankful for a better season arriving. It is a time for regrowth, rebirth, refresh, in the world and in your mind.

Like hibernation, we need to crawl out of the dens and into the light. Absorb sunlight, gorge on foods, drink fresh water. Dust off the dirt, clear the cobwebs, slowly at first and gain back vitality that breathes life into every part of your body. Visualize change in your body and your mind. Stretch towards the sun and bow low to the earth. Be new, however that looks and feels to you. My mom shared a memory of her mother becoming giddy and childlike in May, teasing about dancing around the May pole. There used to be festivals with this very thing, we need to bring that back!

Just envisioning a younger version of my Grammie dancing about brings me joy. If you can bring about any older family member in a younger state doing something fun, that should bring you joy as well. When I visit my Aunts I love to talk about their younger days. The way their faces change, a sly smile, sparkling eyes, nodding about mischief they may of gotten into, magical for them, inspiring for me. Those are the things I want in a note book, a pocket full of other people’s sunshine. Something you can read and relive, capturing happiness to draw upon in any given moment. If you have hope and intention for something good, may it become what you need.

I get stoked about natural events, lunar eclipse, full moon, thunderstorms, northern lights. The other night was suppose to be a happy face in the sky, of course we had overcast. Last night I took the dog for her bedtime pee… what do I see… upside down clown face. Mmmhmm, figures! Nobody announces this one, not one to rush and see. Anticlimactic to the happy face in the sky. Don’t worry though, I captured it. Seems appropriate in this mask of season confusion. Again, I am brought back to, “ Put on a happy face.”

May has arrived, now that is a reason to be excited. I don’t give a flying fig what is in the sky. I was talking to Momma, this is our month. Our birthdays are this month and often we share it with Mother’s Day. Nope, not this year, we will not be bound by dates. We will take the month, our birthday ages will be the same in reverse. That is our own astrological event. I like to calculate when ages are doubled or tripled, quadrupled and god willing five and six times! You better watch out when she is 102 and I am 85, everyone needs to come to that one! Open invite!

Whatever the date or event celebrate. We take too much for granted. You decide what you have overcome in your lifetime. You never need a reason to be happy. You know how you are, if you are happy today, celebrate that! Only look at today things and forget the rest!I will say, you don’t need a nighttime sky to decide your mood!