Even though I am tired, I love to cook! I have never enjoyed the same old, same old. Ask Momma, she will tell you that I fell asleep in my potatoes more than once! My kids will not tell you that I am an awesome cook. Back then it was more about producing food they would all eat, rather than making it taste good. Actually before kids, when it was just hubby and I and a microwave, I am sure I gave us food poisoning making Cornish hens. In Home Economics class, we learned how to set a table and a few meals. I still make my grade seven chilli with a lot of adjustments! I cooked once for my folks in high school and my dad called my salad, rabbit food! Red delicious apples and navel oranges were something you got in your stocking at Christmas.

My kids got all the food groups, not just meat and potatoes. Frankly they are all fantastic eaters! All the veggies, not an issue! When they were done, they left the table. There was no open kitchen until they were old enough to do for them selves. If dinner didn’t get eaten, you didn’t get snack, you waited until the next meal or snack time. Food was pretty regular with Diabetics in the house, maybe a little low on junk food. Oldest went through a vegetarian stage, middle didn’t like condiments, and the youngest liked the same lunch for a year! Rabbit food was in abundance!

Nowadays, meals are planned for the most part. They used to be posted, now I have 4 out of seven accounted for and implemented based on appointments, my energy, and rotating through my supplies. I find processed food is hard on a body now! I don’t know if it’s age, or becoming so accustomed to eating home during Covid, or just sensitivity. I have incorporated a few new recipes in the past couple of years, everyone seems to be on board trying new things. Even hubby has expanding his pallet and he is my fussiest! Tomorrow is his Birthday, I’ll have to rustle up some of his favs!

Rolling out of bed is not how I like to start my day, never has. I like to get up at least an hour before I need to leave the house. I need my coffee to kick in, and the planning to begin. That is a mindset, of course when presented with something different, you can do it. That’s when you find out how flexible you really are, flexibility in your mind is so valuable.

That is the challenge today! Do everything different! Different order, different outcome! I can make changes easier, when I think of them as challenges. It doesn’t become a habit or your norm until you have done it many, many times! It is good to mix it up some!

I have allowed some variety lately. Not all on purpose, but have let the day be different without being too rigid about it. It kinda feels irresponsible just going with a come what may attitude. I don’t want to be old and set in my ways! I want to be flighty and eccentric!

I had to call 911 once as a teen! My folks left really early in the morning, my dad left last. I had to walk him to the door and put the deadbolt and the chain lock on once I closed the door, that was the rule. Before I left for school, I had to make sure all the lights were out and set the furnace for 68. This particular morning about twenty minutes after dad left, someone pounded on the door! We lived in a three floor townhouse, I was up in my room, I started down the stairs but the pounding changed to someone trying the knob and pushing on the door. I was frozen in fear, I think I was 14 or 15. I ran back to my room and called the police, when I think back I don’t remember if it was 911 or an actual number, I can’t remember if it was a cordless phone, I know I had a phone in my room. I remember scream whispering to the police and hiding in my closet. The person was trying to break the door open, and a dispatcher stayed on the phone with me explaining how someone was on the way and they would stay on the phone until they arrived. The noise stopped for 10 minutes or so, but I was too terrified to be calm. The pounding started again and it took the dispatcher another 10 minutes to reassure me it was their officer at the door. She did stay on the phone until I went to the door and gave the phone to the police.

I lock doors and deadbolts here in my little town too, everything is locked. Some of my friends think that is odd, City folk, yup we are odd! We used to live in a little three floor apartment building until I was eight. At night, we had a chain lock, but we weren’t allowed to have a deadbolt. Instead my parents put butter knives in front of the door and into the space between the wall and the trim. I also know that if you go to sleep with that in place and someone comes in, butter knives only bend so far and when the door finally open they fling towards the person coming in! Pretty good security system! Dad and mom came to the city right from the farm, dad worked the farm until he set off to get a job in the big city. Farm boys got muscles and callouses, those country boys fight, especially with eight siblings. We woke up to screams in the middle of the night, outside a woman was being drug up the road by a man. My mom called the cops, but my dad ran out to help. The man produced a knife as my father ran up. My father’s hands, were baseball mitts, no joke! Like a newborn at five pounds could fit in one! Dad just grabbed the knife, by the blade and then held the man until the police came.

Dad wasn’t 6’5 or a MMA fighter, besides working on a vehicle, I don’t have many angry dad stories, well maybe, but that’s another story. After that event when I was a teen, he sat at the end of the road for an hour every morning for a month. Probably good, the person didn’t try again. He started teaching me to box when I was three, I have a scar in the center of my forehead from a speaker I smoked my head off of after punching at him and he stepped out of the way. I can through a punch, turns out I’m a southpaw. Boxing and fighting are very different things. It doesn’t matter where you grow up, it is always good to have some skills to protect yourself or someone else if you have to. I do believe something else surfaces when you are protecting someone, something that you don’t need training for. Love for others, love for life, love of freedom. Survival, things kick in, everything you need is in you!

I was feeling under the weather and my heart was sad. The more I thought about it, I wondered if it was the other way around. Maybe my heart was sad and I felt under the weather. To top it off, we had bad weather and there was pressure in the air. Like Momma would say, “six of one, half dozen of the other. ” It really is the same difference. Unfortunately when I get like that, negative attracts negative and the fake smile is harder to plaster on my face. I really don’t want to talk about all the junk that bothers me sometimes, I just want to process it and feel sad and maybe even sorry for myself for a minute. Sometimes I think not speaking about things, gives them time to go away or work themselves out, before working everything into a tizzy. Obviously this is not the case, case in point. When things go dark in your head, they can spiral quickly.

We need a mental health emergency kit! What should be in this kit? Most things to get out of your head is sensory. Smell, this is a matter personal preference. I know from experience, some things I love to sniff, others after 15 minutes give me a headache! Knowing this about yourself, you probably have things in your house, essential oils, candles that you know won’t make you worse. You could always double down and use a lotion, that appeals to touch and smell. Or a bath in a favourite bath salt, candle in the corner! For sight, you could look at baby pictures or pictures from a vacation, watch a sunset or sunrise. A liquid motion jar, a changing light, this year I would like to get one of those sandscape pictures. Taste, well for me that is chocolate, dark chocolate is better as it increases the production of feel happy hormones. My mouth happy is milk chocolate! Auditory for me is music, there are so many calm sounds created nowadays, for some people silence is better…just block it all out. You may also need your therapist’s number!

Something to be said for the previous generations, when you think about it. They used all their senses. The women gathered, they had their hands thrust into dough on the daily, creating all the food that created all the heavenly, home smells. They talked together all the time, they were outside in the fresh air everyday. They did not sit, they moved their bodies. Their thoughts could not hover, their hands were busy! You know what they say about idle hands! Nowadays it seems, we live in houses, bigger then we need, altogether separate, staring at our devices. Winter is worse, watching the boob tube, doing nothing! I have started walking again, the weather is always a set back, but I will take what I can get. I used to walk in all the weather, I will work up to that for next winter!

Why are you doing it? Some people just jump on the hamster wheel of life. Bill’s need to be paid, and they just attach themselves to something to do to earn. Labour for the almighty dollar. If money is the goal, you might be on wrong path. It is obvious we have responsibilities, and goals. What if money was out of the equation? I have never even thought of it! My kids were talking about it. A cashless society, not the swipe path they are leaning towards, but the elimination of money altogether.

Think about it, if we went back to the day of practicing our strengths. Created wares for sale, bartered for our skills. Ebb and flow, tit for tat, reap what you sow. Equalization of sorts, not a money orientated society! Live off what you have , back to basics, bare bones. Elimination of greed. Sounds like some would still be left behind, but I think a more even playing field. Privileged and the grotesque greed that fuels so many stomping through the common folk as they go. Could it be controlled?

Money can be a detriment to society. If you could follow your heart, creating for yourself, days doing what you want. How would that work for mental health? No pressure to do something of societies value! Just working for your own pleasure. When you want, not the parameters of a nine to five, five days a week. Maybe today it’s just the morning. Maybe you are just doing things for you today. I am so inside the box sometimes, that I didn’t even consider this outside the box idea. Someone else’s strength, and we need that! I’ll swap for that!

Imagine if things lasted forever. It seemed like there was a time that manufacturers strived to create products that lasted. There were labels and brands that you could bank on, you didn’t have to replace items, you did because they bored you. That answers the question. We would be bored, find fault, and still be unhappy. New things do not make us happy. For a time they do, until we get bored. This is why the dumps are overflowing. As a nation we really need to reduce, reuse and recycle. People barely take free items now! I did a purge over a years time. Selling items, offering to family, paying forward, donating. It was not easy! Some places have restrictions, not taking glassware or books. I would offer stuff for free and nobody wanted my stuff, that one hurt! I could sell stupid stuff real easy, but things of value, people want to debate price, pick up end of the month or offer a story to try to have it for nothing. It’s quite comical really. Nobody likes wood anymore, well not wood coloured wood!

There a lot of minimalist type shows and information going on and I could get behind that nowadays! Not when I had kids, you just keep passing along things for years! The concept of everything in your home being used or useful sounds pretty relaxing. You look around your home and everywhere your eyes land is something meaningful to you. That may be my path for this year. I like that, I have whittled down my overall belongings, now to keep just what I personally am connected to. Sometimes I feel a bit like a storage locker after 32 years in the same house. These spaces are mine and I would like them to reflect that. That way if I do downsize it is just low key and my kids aren’t left with all the stuff. Rainy day stuff, might need stuff, gonna use it up stuff, forgot it was there stuff! When I pick up an item, I want it to be specific, not the ghost of an idea.

I look around and I see the trouble spots right now. I can not be accountable for all of them. I just changed my mindset and I am on a mission. It’s not the same as my previous purge, it is a preservation of mine! Spring cleaning is gonna be intense this year!

Shed the layers, the things we protected ourselves from. Lots of things go down in our lifetimes. Momma wouldn’t say is the name because a lot of people won’t speak on the outside, what is going on in the inside. Some kind of self preservation. Sometimes I think it’s still the old thought process that admitting a problem with your mental health is some kind of failure. There are still people that hold on to the notion that everyone says they have mental health problems these days. They say it like it is something we create for attention. I think we finally have given it a name for some of the feelings, coping, behaviours and reactions we have now.

If you have not gotten to a stage in your life where you can self reflect and decide how you are the way that you are, I hope you chose to do so. I am always telling my kids that, “ I think I have figured out a way to get through harder days, I just…” and the excuses flow out, which in itself is anxiety. When our reactions are second nature to us and they have always been that way, it’s harder for us to see them in ourselves. When life is good, it is easier to skate through. When life tilts a bit, that is when you may realize, you did diddly squat for yourself and have just been lulled into complacency. So how do you do when life is hard? Problem is, it could be years of good before the world, your world, tilts off of its axis!

Of course you don’t have to do anything! You may have a support network that could solidify water! It is amazing how poorly we treat ourselves. There are not enough pedicures, massages or facials to fix anything. Bandaids are not cures, they are pacifiers not getting to the root or the cure. So my hope for you is to not wait until you have to triage your life. Make sure you react to the start of the symptoms and get help. You need to start a course of action that get’s you on track for prevention!

You are cute, been cute forever! Everyone calls me cute, friends, my kids, all the time. I get other names too, I’ll take cute! I am a kid at heart, so cute it is.

Women wear many hats in the run of a day, sometimes you don’t know someone’s real heart until you spend an abundance of time with them. Or when you share some of their life changing moments. You don’t expose your real self right away to people. Or maybe reserve a little part of yourself for later to introduce. These might be your best parts or your parts that are not so pleasant! Sometimes we just are not ready to be the person we are!

I like real, honest and kind people. Rare, sadly. We are often pulled to people that we aspire to be like. Or maybe even have traits we need to work on. Sometimes it is none of those things! Human nature, like everything else is fluid. Can’t help but think of silly things like, I want to be like wine and age well. Time change has me overtired! Be yourself, be kind, change only if you want to! Be cute and always love!

I can’t even explain how easily how it all came back! The focus on a distant spot to get from point A to point B. We used to refer to ourselves as escalator people, just straight movement barely moving just flowing from space to space. Although now, I have become my husband and like Crocodile Dundee, talking to everyone, getting their story and engaging in conversations! I learned names and stories and first hand accounts of historical moments! I have laughed so much with people I barely knew. I felt no fear, truly an awesome adventure this week!

New York is iconic, that is the difference! Everywhere you look is related to a show or movie in your life. I was insanely excited at everything! I saw where Elf had his snowball fight, where Spider-Man broke up with his girlfriend, a scene from 27 Dresses, from Friends and Sex and the City! Some real sad things as well, 9\11, John Lennon’s assassination and many scandals involving actors and even the mob!! All of it was so riveting! I found the people willing to share, only a few aggressors! Even saw someone punch a car!

I will go back, the food, the people, the sights were beyond what I expected! I don’t know how many miles I put on my feet, but at one point we sat on a bench and questioned the pace we were trying to get all the things done. Can’t enjoy when you are spinning through! A cabby told us of a fare he had the day before that flew in and had 7 hours to see everything. He drove them around for a huge price, seeing all the supposed key sights, we took a minute and then took our time.

I will go back, without a vehicle, armed with subway knowledge and another list of things to see! Off season all the way! I do ❤️NY!

For all the people that take care of the unseen, they do it without recognition and are often not recognized. I don’t understand how much it takes for people to give credit where credit is due. Are we such a society that it would kill us to elevate someone else and all they give of themselves? People care for the dying, people work with the hurt, the abandoned, the suffering humans of the world. Maybe even just cook or clean for them, everyone has importance and is just as vital as the next person. If not them who? Why do people look down at others?

High horses, a lot of them. Why they consider themselves so superior to everyone else I don’t know! I personally feel it is jealousy. I think everyone has the ability to do anything they put their mind to. So why take the joy, the wind out of others sails? Be happy for others or take a page out of their book. Figure out what will really make you most happy , and really pursue it. Just because you don’t advocate for your deep needs or wants doesn’t mean you poo poo on others.

If you keep others at arms length, you will have no one when you reach out. There are enough horrors and loss in this world to deal with! Dividing people and turning away from others, leaves you empty handed. We need to celebrate each others victories, share in our successes! You will want the support of others in your lifetime, you will need it! Be a good human..