It is hard to dig deep and be totally invested in something and still juggle all the things. You can get inside your head you forget everything else, like feral survival mode. It is different for everyone. It could be planning an event, supporting someone, finishing a project. I have been absent in so many roles to be present in one. Sorry about that, sorry to anyone who felt they were on the back shelf. I also put myself there too, so once the cobwebs are scrubbed and the shelf empties, I feel present.

I am an organized person and I can tell when life is driving the car. The juggling stops and the balls are falling down. I forget things, I can’t find stuff, changes put me into a tailspin. Balance is hard and maybe it always will be. I will disperse the eggs into several baskets instead of keeping them all in one and be sunshine and rainbows, until next time. How do I learn from it? I have tried the yes person, the no person, the go with the flow person, I will figure out the manual eventually.

Right now in the wee hours, as the world sleeps I am present. I need these moments to make a plan in the silence. Summer will always be my discovery time, my peace, my rebuild. I return to the princess of my castle and breathe the earth’s energy. I wish it was longer but that is another day. I will enjoy everyday that I am given. For me summer recharges the batteries that have been too low for too long. Happy summer!

Sometimes growth has to happen without our acknowledgment. You come through something to the other side of it before you realize the lesson. We can be so involved in a task that you become lost in it. Hyper focused and vigilant, no tomorrows, just today. When it is over you realize the loss and quite often the gains. How something makes you feel isn’t felt until it is done. I am not sure how we become so immersed in something that we are not even cognizant of the effects. When the outcome is good, we rejoice, if the outcome is negative we mourn, lick our wounds and move on.

We age and we are still pliable, we are still creating a mould of who we will become. We may see it in others before we recognize it in ourselves. I catch myself thinking, I never used to think, act, have beliefs like this before. Evolving to a better person is subtle, seeing someone grow into a better version is a celebration. We can be part of that, we can have a hand in it. If you have grown a tiny human and they do things that are strong and insightful even if it is different than us we silently cheer. If you have friends that struggle and you see them step out of that space we carry a knowing smile. If people are constantly plotting against each other, they are not your people.

I have been shuffling through memories this year. Weeding out the old and inserting the better. This process can be harrowing and even draining. Get it right with yourself and the rest falls into place. Forget what you can not change. You do not need to live there, it is expensive for it to take up valuable real estate in your mind. Send in an eviction notice and clear those dusty spaces for something better. The full moon of June is over, go towards summer with all the positive vibes you can muster 💗

We waste time, all the time. I realized something that was obvious recently, combination. What if during the idle time, it was combined with productive things. Adding something beneficial, frankly is beneficial. Mini goals on the side! I have tried treadmill and TV, doesn’t work for me, walking needs to be outside in my mind. There are a ton of things that don’t work, be sure to mix it up and choose things that do work. Ambition and approach, sounds simple enough. If you are a go getter and just do, well you already have this. The planners, overthinkers, dreamers, get delayed.

Note to yourself three things for today, for the week and for the month. Choose things for yourself, something specific you want. Today I need to exercise, paint a garden object that goes outside and make banana bread. This week I want to regain all my yoga poses, prep yard for summer and complete a declutter project I have started. This month I need to have the smallest room in the house redone, have all the outdoor spaces complete for summer and regain complete body strength. They are all building towards month end. The daily and weekly are simple blocks to build towards the end result. I can think of several ways that I could combine the tasks while I watch TV or scroll FB. The projects cost me nothing unless I want them to. I have everything I need to do them. I have to get the ambition and keep the momentum.

If you want to learn a new skill, plan a vacation, or build relationships, do it in threes. Loading on extra, diminishes the focus. Just bits, itty bitty bits. The three daily help you step closer to the weekly. The weekly helps you see where you are at and what needs to be done for the monthly. It is a theory, one of many, but a willingness to try is all you need.

I am not perfect, but I expect to be. No one will ever judge me as hard as I judge myself. I do not like to be wrong, I don’t like can’t. I am more of a I won’t and do what I want kinda gal. I like to do things myself, so I can say I did it, by myself, I didn’t need any help. I also like when someone does for me without asking. Not in a bossy way but a mind reader way, and of course is totally unrealistic. On the flip side of that, I like to do for others before they ask, predicting needs so I am not told what to do. This is a huge discovery for me. Pretty unreasonable to maintain and probably a little bit of an only child thing.

It shows me why I am stubborn, I only had to answer to me. It explains my mini started projects. They get hard, I move on until I problem solve, then go back when I have figured it out. This is fine independently but start to finish people stay with things until it is done all in one sitting. The procrastination I used to suffer with forever was more fear inspired. If I didn’t begin something hard, I wouldn’t have to feel failure and guilt for making my way through it on my terms. It doesn’t bother me to work at a task for fifteen minutes, leave it, go on to something else finish them both over several days rotating back and forth until done. Works for me and curbs the procrastination.

It is funny how self discovery continues all through your life. Just like the ability to make changes throughout that time. We are malleable at any age. I always seem to be surprised by that. I see it in others, and only after self reflection do I discover mine. One of the principle themes that helped me create this blog was asking for cookies. I ran into the person that taught me that the other day. Such a delight, brought it all back, triggered this whole journey. It reminded me, mind readers cannot happen. It is you! What kind of cookie do you need? Don’t make people guess, pick the one you want, the recipe and the ingredients if you need to. Ask for exactly what you want or need!

I tend to go at things full force getting nowhere fast. Take out a box and fill it with fortitude, endurance and resilience. Like a deep well, draw upon it as needed, your medicine for the day. Spring fever has hit, it’s like a need to do kind of feeling. My do doesn’t work too well, so I will reach into the box and see what I can muster up. Slow and steady works too, you don’t have to conquer the world, one continent at a time will do. Try five minutes at a time, a slow pace, build stamina. You are suppose to breathe through movements to oxygenate and build on that.

Grandstanding, cheering crowds are not going to happen in everyday life. Pat your own back, smile and acknowledge progress in yourself. Building blocks for your own progress really comes from within. Your mindset, your body, your business. The expectation was for the Hare to win the race, he was cocky and thought he had it all figured out. The odds were in his favour, everyone loves the underdog, coming up slow with only the goal of the finish line. It isn’t win or lose, it’s participation and having fun with it. Don’t force things, just keep going.

Seasons come and go, life passes and none of it is within your control. Hard things happen and you can do hard things. Maybe it is a tomorrow thing, a later thing but you only control what you do, no promises in the outcome. You can’t go around it, move through it, at your pace.

May brings gifts daily, low flying eagles, the bees, early daffodils, tulips and crocus. I feel the difference. I was talking to a physiotherapist and they mentioned that the seasons can affect healing, fresh air, warmth, sunshine. I hear that, loud and clear! Maybe we should migrate with the birds in the winter, can we get a doctor’s note for that? I am thankful for a better season arriving. It is a time for regrowth, rebirth, refresh, in the world and in your mind.

Like hibernation, we need to crawl out of the dens and into the light. Absorb sunlight, gorge on foods, drink fresh water. Dust off the dirt, clear the cobwebs, slowly at first and gain back vitality that breathes life into every part of your body. Visualize change in your body and your mind. Stretch towards the sun and bow low to the earth. Be new, however that looks and feels to you. My mom shared a memory of her mother becoming giddy and childlike in May, teasing about dancing around the May pole. There used to be festivals with this very thing, we need to bring that back!

Just envisioning a younger version of my Grammie dancing about brings me joy. If you can bring about any older family member in a younger state doing something fun, that should bring you joy as well. When I visit my Aunts I love to talk about their younger days. The way their faces change, a sly smile, sparkling eyes, nodding about mischief they may of gotten into, magical for them, inspiring for me. Those are the things I want in a note book, a pocket full of other people’s sunshine. Something you can read and relive, capturing happiness to draw upon in any given moment. If you have hope and intention for something good, may it become what you need.

I get stoked about natural events, lunar eclipse, full moon, thunderstorms, northern lights. The other night was suppose to be a happy face in the sky, of course we had overcast. Last night I took the dog for her bedtime pee… what do I see… upside down clown face. Mmmhmm, figures! Nobody announces this one, not one to rush and see. Anticlimactic to the happy face in the sky. Don’t worry though, I captured it. Seems appropriate in this mask of season confusion. Again, I am brought back to, “ Put on a happy face.”

May has arrived, now that is a reason to be excited. I don’t give a flying fig what is in the sky. I was talking to Momma, this is our month. Our birthdays are this month and often we share it with Mother’s Day. Nope, not this year, we will not be bound by dates. We will take the month, our birthday ages will be the same in reverse. That is our own astrological event. I like to calculate when ages are doubled or tripled, quadrupled and god willing five and six times! You better watch out when she is 102 and I am 85, everyone needs to come to that one! Open invite!

Whatever the date or event celebrate. We take too much for granted. You decide what you have overcome in your lifetime. You never need a reason to be happy. You know how you are, if you are happy today, celebrate that! Only look at today things and forget the rest!I will say, you don’t need a nighttime sky to decide your mood!

At this part of the year, since seasons don’t seem to be defined by a date anymore, rain is necessary. It seeps into the ground, coaxing new growth. Buds on trees, grass thickens, the animals come alive. This rain washes the earth, not like the first rains that melts the snow. New life, fresh air, the smell of mud, a rich soil mud. Connecting with nature, grounding your body with calm and expectation of change. It does something. Sure it’s frustrating, the dampness and the grey air never quite giving way to the sun. It is a promise of something better.

It inspires hope, patience and desire for all that is yet to come. We remember that the sun will come out and we can be lifted from the overcast that is all around. I think the mind changes too, clouds lift and so does our spirits. I heard peepers this week, saw worms on the ground, the morning is filled with bird calls. If nature knows, so should you. Animals are preparing for the bounty of this crawling approach to summer. As much as I detest daily mud laden dog prints, I wait for it to pass.

Celebrate the season arriving, let it motivate you to feel renewed. Just like the rain replenishes the earth, let it fill you up and revive the drought the winter may have created. If it brings a good day, stick your bare toes in the grass, look at the sky and be one with nature. I know spring isn’t for everyone, mosquitos, allergies and other things can take the joy away. Take any piece you can that brings something good to you.

Look for the positive, in a world full of easy negative energy, don’t get pulled in. Whatever will be, will be. I have been stuck in a negative funk lately, dull, lack lustre, my cup half full has been empty. Anything negative seemed to latch on, I have been so hyper aware of every muscle group in my body. I have resigned to put up and shut up in a positive way. Not ignoring but being kinder to myself. Not today is okay. Feeling unfulfilled and down fixes nothing. Saying no repeatedly and putting aside guilt that goes with that.

You have to be creative with your energy. Give yourself a break. Turn the frown upside down, or my husband’s mantra, “ Put on a happy face.” Here I would insert eye roll if his kids were to read this, they surely would be doing a hefty one. My own positive mantra’s have receded and I need to get back to those. They ultimately are the ones that matter. They are the ones created to drown out all the others. I will make some pledges to myself and climb out of the grey I am in.

How to get out of a funk? Live! Shower, get dressed, leave the house. Put on music, talk to humans, fresh air. I had all of it on tap, time to turn the faucet on and fill the cup. Sometimes you get stuck, it is okay. We do know what to do to overcome. Whatever it is you have to overcome, doesn’t disappear but you can live with it. Que sera sera!

Waiting on someone or something is a royal pain. Doing it yourself is all fine and dandy if that is how it worked. You can start missions and ideas and advocate, but relying on someone else for completion is like watching paint dry. You are ready, it is go time but yet you sit and wait for .. well the missing puzzle piece I guess. It’s no wonder people give up before they can really start. Gives a different view of finishing what you start. To make a difference in this lifetime you have to be fierce and navigate every obstacle.

It starts with one, I do believe that. You want to change the world, start with you. I have often thought of foundations I would create if there were no obstacles. I have no idea what the obstacles would be, just life has taught me, that there will be. My foundations wait, but what if I took another step, just to see. If that step moves things forward, another step. Wait to see what the obstacles were and ask for help. Ask for help? My mind tells me, ask for help, you no longer guide that idea, it doesn’t belong to you now. If it is truly something that would make a difference, who cares. Are you doing it for recognition or truly making a difference?

You can’t let fear guide you. One step, then another, what can you lose? This is where it ends if you don’t try. How many of us have ideas that lie dormant foiling them before the first step is even taken. I remember talking to my dad about making something.. no clue what it was now but we were excited and talked about patents and making drawings. Back then there was no internet with its savvy tips and guidance to get things done. There was no Dragon’s den to back a solid idea and market new things. I will have to try to remember what it was, but it was the first of many swallowed ideas. Even if your idea isn’t a product, maybe it is a petition, maybe it is fighting for a cause you think is important. Take a step, not baby steps like we talked about in the past but a whole leap of faith, what have you got to lose?