I was watching the cat with her new toy. It has mice and feathers that pop out randomly and in the laziest way possible she played with it. It has an auto shut off and she cries for it to be turned back on. People are like that too. Laze around, feeling for a certain vibe, can’t really commit. Then we wonder why we have no progress. Afterwards we whine that the moment has passed.

What if your approach was whole body. I am going to do this thing, with my whole self. No testing waters, just all in. How much could you get done with that attitude? I’m sure it would be heaps more than what you have done the other way. Pick your path with confidence and go. Would you do the running long jump without the run? You could, but you are not gonna get as far. Lace up your sneakers, take off at break neck speed and fly forward. If it’s what you really want, why not?

Days turn to weeks, then months and most certainly years. If you are just messing around in the kiddy pool, maybe it’s time to take the plunge. If you need water wings, well sink or swim. You will never do it, if it just stays in your head. Maybe you will feel like you are in over your head, maybe you won’t.

If you are trying new year, new you… don’t do it just because of expectation. You should know why. It should be things you have put off. The things that sit in your mind and you have dwelled on them forever. Stuff that you never find time for or don’t make a priority because of everything else. There is no time like the present to do those things. It takes a lot of repetition to create new patterns. Make sure you know, you are fine the way you are. The fact remains we sit on ideas, and it may be time to explore those things. I still count September as my New Year. I find motivation is low, weather is cold and it doesn’t make much seem appealing. Don’t do it just because the calendar rolled over.

While I drag things out of closets I find things that remind me of other things I wanted to do. Why haven’t I done them? Well my adventurous self lives in the summer season. That season is also when I do not stay inside, so being a productive person for making or starting a project doesn’t really get started. My option is winter. That is where I am at, so that’s where I should start. Hibernation will have to be for the bears this year.

I need to build a fire under my tired, cold body and get to it. I wrote down a few things to complete for January. I could have written two pages, but that would send me back under the covers as the realization sets in that I may be reaching a bit far. Three things is plenty and if I finish them before the end of January, I will write down more. It made for a very busy day for me today, but it is a start.

How long could you survive off the things in your home right now? Three months? Two days? A year? If you used up every item? Do you replace dishes, towels, clothes just for fun? Some people do, I am just asking. There was a year I had to buy drinking glasses constantly, not sure if I had a bad batch or slippery fingers, but they seemed to break way too often. I like to use things until they are threadbare. I used to stock up on extra groceries, but now I tend to buy what I am making for the week and items I know our family will eat.

I bought myself towels a couple of years ago and previous to that have had the same ones for as long as I can remember. Clothes were my weakness and I have curbed that as well. I try to be minimal and practical, it is funny how we can be as consumers. Try emptying a room, you find out pretty fast, how much you have. I had enough books in this house to pile to the ceiling, clothes to fill the top of every bed and school supplies to get a few generations through k to 12. That is enough, enough buying, stock piling, getting… it just isn’t necessary.

I am still donating and cleaning out spaces, I call it my other full time job. Don’t get me started on the landfill and those that go without. We collectively need to make changes in this department. How? Swap, sell, donate. Try to buy used, use your stuff up… trending is for others. Brands are something created to make you buy, you are buying into a notion that somehow certain things are far more superior others. Who cares? Eighty bucks for a shirt? Really? Milk and a loaf of bread is almost ten bucks, if this doesn’t matter to you, congratulations on your wealth. Maybe your extra could go towards something else. I would rather spend on doing, then having..Something to think about.

I removed some long standing behaviour patterns I have been struggling with. It’s funny too, because it is not the first time. My confidence seems to be wavering, it went into a bit of a hibernation. I had to dig it out from behind the garbage that can pile up in day to day life. You can go on with your day and not even realize you are putting barriers in your way. That’s why self reflection is good. I didn’t really see it through my exhaustion. I created this mental map of survival, but it only helped others survive and left myself out of the equation again. It can be so easy to fall into old patterns.

I was reviewing this blog from the beginning making notes of things I learned and realized I wasn’t practicing them again. I was packing in emotions, not communicating, running a solo ship. It isn’t all bad, most of the time I am smooth sailing. There is no better time to change, than right now. The difference is a breath of fresh air, literally because I am getting rid of unnecessary stress. The mental weight is falling away. There is nothing major, but I am important, therefore it is important.

The writing is always on the wall, but always so easy to ignore it. My patience has been gone. I was angry way too much and constantly sick. Time to wake up and get it right again. Find your authentic self, the one in the back. Dust her off, prop her up and watch her come to life!

We are headed to the final moments for this year. It’s time to create strategies for the New Year. Whatever you wrote in the playbook of life last year, that didn’t work for you, rip that page out. Don’t even keep it. Like everything, you may need more practice to get it right. Don’t be afraid to be a new you, you are never too old to reinvent yourself. You are not cast in concrete or metal. You are pliable, the best things come in the later chapters.

Sometimes we drop the ball, we can’t make it up the field. You keep going, look for the open spaces and go for a touchdown. Plays get reviewed all the time, not to live in the past, but to learn from our mistakes. Maybe you have a team that helps and it is okay if you don’t. Try not to keep score. Go all out to create what you need. Try and do new things.

I hope the highlight reel for 2024 was amazing. I hope it held so many good things you can’t keep track. Surround yourself in positive affirmations for this coming year. Write something good on the mirror every night, to carry you through your days. Love the person staring back. When I say, “ Good Morning,” to my google, it is prompted to turn on the lights, tell me the weather and give a motivational quote. I won’t be changing that. Do something for yourself and someone else every day this coming year. Rebuild or renovate your life to get the most out of it!

Move gently into your New Year, take some time to decide what is really important. Reflect on the past years and think about some of your regrets. Really dig up the good stuff and things that made you happy. Repeat all the good things. Learn from the things you passed up or even screwed up. How will you do it differently this year? What is stealing from your glow? Be brutally honest with yourself. Don’t fall into those patterns this upcoming year. Work extra hard on yourself!

Replay the highlight reel, no time for sitting in any unhappiness. Take all your favourite parts and any unfinished tasks or desires and put them in a jar. Do them this year. There’s no deadline for good things. It doesn’t have to be huge, some little things we put aside are just as important. You know what your deficits are. Even the Grinch had a list, however, skip the self loathing.

Don’t deprive yourself, factor in yourself first. Say what you need out loud. Unbury your flavour, zest and passion. Not a New Year thing, make it a New you thing. Don’t play Devil’s advocate there will always be blockers, haters, negative Nellys in this lifetime. You don’t need an audience or someone to hold your hand, to be yourself. Life changes start today.

Inside the card is a note from my momma, a reminder, “ The world doesn’t stop if you don’t do everything.” The cup is from Santa, between the two, the message is well received. So hustle and bustle aside, the jog from place to place, don’t forget the peace. All Christmas practices, traditions and otherwise… don’t forget the peace. I wrote it twice because it is important. Carefree and calm, that is what you need today. When I drink my coffee today, the reminder is in the brim. Aim for that, inhale, exhale, breathe away all worries and concerns. Dr. Seuss knew in all his whimsical rhymes in the Grinch. Christmas is more, not presents, no matter what, not presents. This should not be news, most of us know this already.

I FaceTimed my daughter on Christmas morning and talked to them for a bit. I asked my granddaughter what her favourite part of the morning was, “ Watching how happy my brother was!” Borrow that happiness that you see in others. Whether you have created the happiness or it comes out spontaneously. Laugh lots! Along with peace there should be joy. Joy and Love are part of the Christmas message, and just as important! I think they are the easy part, they are infectious and almost automatic.

The Zen may be easier today with shopping and cooking done, but keep it in your pocket for the year to come. A lifelong practice, a goal, even a resolution! It is so easy to fall into practices that have us overwhelmed. Lessen the stressen! The motto going forward. It doesn’t matter, and if it does, it won’t in five years. Park it, don’t poke it, don’t look at it, maybe just for today. May the Joy, PEACE and Love of the season follow you into the New Year and every year after that!

Christmas is the time of year for joy, happiness and love. It is a time of year to pause, rest and rejoice. Some people have a few days to get out and see others, share food and spend time. It is also a time of remembrance, even if you avoid it in your mind, it comes unbidden. Whether you’ve lost someone, or separated by miles or just fallen out of touch, this time of year it comes to mind. Emotion and grief are hard to wear when so many others are happy. I too have suffered loss and the sting hurts a little more this time of year. I do know loss will grow the longer we are here and the list of loss will grow longer as we age.

Ignoring these feelings and pushing them away will not help. It is okay to incorporate grief into your holiday. I make and do my Dad’s favourite things. I talk about him, even when it causes people to look sad. I cry, why does it make people uncomfortable when we cry? You don’t have to fix crying, let it out, feel your feelings. I look for signs, the latched door opens, the lights flicker, a spider web in the snow. I see these things as an extra presence, a nod from an ever silent voice. Even the supposed bad things, a huge storm? Well Dad says, we are not going out. A power outage? Dad says, get outside, you’re not cooking today. Missed the exit and take a different way home, then find out there was an accident on your regular route? My Dad!

The person that is gone is only physically gone. They are part of you and while you are here, so are they. How do you honour that? The physical part is what we miss, but the memories. Share them, pull them out like a deck of cards. Spread them everywhere, write down the best ones! Have a sharing session during the holidays, make the memories stick for the next generation. A life is only forgotten when there is no one left to recall sweet tidbits about them. While you are at it, leave a memory of yourself that others want to remember one day in your absence. Do something memorable this Christmas, grab your family and go outside and bang pots and pans, be spontaneous, catch em off guard!!

My cat is a feral princess! She tap dances around my body at night to tuck me in, then settles just to the side to give me the room I need. She walks us to the door and hides behind our coats to pop out for a snuggle good bye. She is a total attention hog. I always talk to my pets and she is very vocal. She is the voice we hear in the morning calling hello as she steers us to her food dish. A dish she never empties, but insists on it being filled. Our pets share a huge water dish that holds a canister that fills continuously. Soon as it empties, the dog pushes it across the floor to remind us to fill it. As soon as new water goes in, the cat practically sticks her head into the water to get the water dripping out, she gets wet from whiskers to chin.

She runs with the dog, spending evenings running in and out of rooms trying to sneak up on her. They nose each other in greetings, and in the next moment, she grabs the dog with one paw and smacks her with the other. We only had her two months before Christmas last year, she touched the tree once, I used a spray bottle and she never touched it again. This year, she didn’t even try. She knocks things off counters and shelves, she loves my plants and apparently blueberry muffins! If I reprimand her, the dog runs over and monitors her behaviour to be sure she doesn’t continue being a brat.

After our previous darling cat passed away, we couldn’t see getting another. This one, stepped into all of our hearts, with all four paws right away. Hook, line and sinker! Even hubby is mush around this little ball of fluff. She has started caterwauling at the door if she isn’t allowed in with us, most recently she added throwing herself at the door. She wasn’t a replacement pet, she was a selected addition to the family. I am Sola, I am Queen!

Reach out your hand, I’ll grab it. Lean into me, I’ll give you a hug. Point, I’ll look. Communication goes beyond words, it is multifaceted. It is seeing, it is feeling, it is listening. When we don’t have words, we have a face and body language. A parent can read so many unspoken cues. It’s fine tuning, it evolves. We can absolutely ignore what we see, our responses are our own. Animals speak without words, we know the language of our pets too. When you fail to read cues, or cues are not received in the manner they were meant, it causes a miscommunication.

Saying exactly what you mean, representing exactly what you need is extremely hard for some people. If you have learned that giving a hint and someone else fills in the blanks, that isn’t effective either. If your ask is met with negative or emotional responses constantly, you learn not to ask. If you feel guilty asking and then have any kind of delay in answer, you may just tell yourself no. Communication like anything is learned. The people that raise you, the people you live with, co workers, friends all have a different way of communicating and it can be a struggle to read the conversation.

Unlearn, relearn, trying different kinds of communication is a key building block for all of us. If advocating for someone else is a strength, but not yourself, think of yourself as a third person. What is it you need to say? What conversation has you picking lint off of your sweater? If it was your Grammie or young teen that was trying to have a hard conversation, and you were speaking for them, what would you say? Rise above the barriers and speak, nobody reads your mind.