When you don’t know, they know. Their young innocent selves, mindlessly wrapped up in their imaginary worlds. Maybe they seem too young or have no cares. Talk to your kids, something they have heard or their perception of it. They could have it all wrong, they may have a distorted view and be totally off base. When we went red during Covid the students were a buzz with the news. When they were asked what they knew or how they felt, the answers were enlightening. Most were worried about their parents. Did you know your kids were worried about you? Some had made it so big in their minds, they needed to talk.
Talk to them about bullying, make sure they know what it is. Being chased all recess during a tag game is not targeting. Be sure they know, they have a voice. Make sure they always tell, and to say “no, stop, I don’t like that”. Most important, tell them they do not have to play with someone that is making them feel bad. My daughter was once drug around the playground by her hood, several recesses in a row, I asked her if she told, and she said yes, at the end of recess. She couldn’t get away, so she couldn’t tell. I told her the next time it happened, to turn and scream as loud as she could in this person’s ear. She had an awesome scream, and it never happened again.
Including kids in the conversation is important, not the knitty gritty. Not your divorce details, or your problem with the neighbours, or finances No matter how mature they seem, some stuff is overshare.
Your job is to protect them, keep the worry or doubt from them. Let them be children. Laundry should remain in the laundry room. They are not your confident.
They listen, you think they don’t know, even my own sitting around a corner when grown ups are chatting. “The walls have ears,” was the clue to others that our privacy was being breached. Bare minimum is fine for the things they need to know. They hear you, and they don’t keep secrets… you are not fooling anyone.
Momma Wouldn't Say 