Coping Mechanisms

I have a delay switch, I tend to go on auto pilot to get through a dilemma and then shut down afterwards. Crisis brain always steps up, but the internal aftermath is a mess. Confrontations are another matter, brain shuts off, I become mute, until some secret reset button kicks in. Fortunately this is not daily life. You also need to remember that for plenty of people it is.

Where do these reactions come from? Not everyone meets misfortune the same. What keeps us on this earth when things get real low? Why do some bounce back but others just can’t? Is it built in or learned? I have three kids and each one deals differently since infancy. I would have to believe that some is built in and some is learned. I have been stubborn and had the long fuse since I was a toddler. The story has been told how I tried numerous times to get on the couch and every time I would almost get the second knee up, dad would tease and get me down. Mom said I went at it for awhile, half crying, half laughing. Finally after the last foiled attempt, I toddled off. I was not done, I grabbed an over turned toy box, picked it up over my head and came charging back to take out my teaser.

You learn a lot from kids, ever been to a birthday party or been at the park and just watch? High energy, leaders, controllers, laid back, sobbers… it’s all there. Human nature forming, if you are raising littles right now, take them out and see how they are coping. Give them tools to navigate with, you are a back up tool, but they need to do it alone too. My generation wasn’t big on feelings. Love yes, crying nope, anger at adults yikes. Every feeling is valid, teach them to be authentic with their feelings. Sometimes we just need to be heard and be done with it. To feel value, we need to be heard.